George: What's up, America?! You're just in time! ACME Wheel is about to start! Just make sure you turn the lights on in your room. And remember, don't sit too close to the monitor. This is gonna be epic!

[COLD OPEN]

[Jon combs his hair, puts on his mic, and as he is about to open the door: The door won't open!]

Jon: Oh no! This is horrible! They gave me a new dressing room and the lock is on the outside of the door! Next to the last show of the season, and I'm stuck in my dressing room. I'll be right there! How am I gonna start ACME Wheel? What the hell am I worried about? Let me give my friend Alvin a call! [to his iPhone] Hey, Siri, call Alvin!

[Jon's iPhone calls Alvin]

Alvin's voicemail: Hello, this is Alvin Seville. Senior detective of an elite unit known as ACME Crime Net. I am not available right now. Please leave your name, number, and brief message---

Jon: [hangs up] Damn! He must be warming up the crowd. Let me see if the ol' Lubber can help me. [to his iPhone] Hey, Siri, call Nick!

[Jon's iPhone calls Nick]

Director: In 5...4...3...2...1!

[Showtime!]

All: WHEEL...OF....FORTUNE!!!

Jon: Oh no!

[Cheers and applause]

Aqune: The famous wheel is spinning your way towards thousands of dollars in cash! 

Hunter: And now from the ACME Studios, here are the stars of our show....

Hunter and Aqune: Jonathaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan....

[The camera suddenly zooms into Freddie already at Jon's position]

Hunter and Aqune: MANN!?

Freddie: Hi, everybody! The weather's nice and warm back here. Welcome to ACME Wheel. We play America's game: ACME's Way. We got three Power Rangers who be spinning and solvin' puzzles for thousands of dollars of cash and prizes. Hunter Meele who are today's Power Rangers?

[Hunter enters HQ and pushes Freddie off the stage]

Hunter: Steele! Not Meal! 

[Brittany escorts Jon into HQ]

[Applause; The audience gives Jon a standing ovation]

Jon: Thank you, Britt. For freeing me from my dressing room.

Brittany: You're very welcome. [leaves]

Jon: Hi, everybody. Sorry, I got locked up in my dressing room for a half an hour. Brittany was able to free me. Anyway, welcome to ACME Wheel. We are getting close to the end of the school year. But before you start studying for final exams or turn your tassels to the right, why not spend a half hour with us solvin' puzzles. We got three contestants trying to win some cash. Let's meet them right now. Hunter? 

[Now to the contestants]

Hunter: Our first player enjoys reading comic books and loves to play golf. From Long Island, meet Calvin Mills!

She enjoys swimming, bike riding, and hopes to become a tennis superstar. From the Bronx, say hello to Levi Cuttle!

He's fluent in Spanish, Italian, and English and volunteers and senior centers. From Manhattan, meet Preston Tieno!

[Applause]

Jon: Contestants, are you ready to play?

Contestants: Yes!

Jon: You know how this is done. Let me remind the rules for our new viewers. Let's look at our wheel.



There’s hundreds of dollars in cash waiting to be won. You spin the wheel, guess a letter. If that letter’s in the puzzle, the money will be added to your bank. Guess a letter that's not in the puzzle, you lose your turn. If you solve the puzzle, the money is banked to your total. But be careful of those two black and white spaces. Lose a Turn – land on that, your turn is over automatically. And finally, the Bankrupt.

[Audience boos]

Jon: Yeah. Land on that, all of the money in the round goes away. If you have no money and if the other player has money, a wedge will be able to help you out. It's called....

Theodore: POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!

Jon: No ranger implied here. It's called Power. Land on that wedge, guess the correct letter, and you can steal whatever money the player has in the round. And finally, we have Free Spin, if at anytime you lose your turn, you get a free one. We’ll explain more about that as we go along. Whoever has the most cash at the end of the game, will play for a chance to win up to 10x their total. 

[Applause]

Jon: Now, iKing is not here today. So we got the funny and outrageous Freddie sitting in for him.

Freddie: Yes I am.

Jon: Right now, let’s take a look at our first puzzle.

Freddie: The category is People.

Jon: And remember People does not always mean...

Simon: Proper Name!

Jon: Thank you, Simon. There's an ampersand in the puzzle. 

[_ _ _ _   &
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _   _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _]

Jon: Calvin, you won the toss backstage. Let's give that wheel a turn.

[Calvin spins]

[$75]

Calvin: N.

Freddie: Don't tell anyone. There are four N's in the puzzle.

[_ _ _ _   &
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N _   _ _ _ _ N]

Jon: $300.

[Calvin spins again]

[$125]

Calvin: S.

Freddie: S as in Sorry! There are No S's. Levi, it's your turn.

[Levi spins]

[$25]

Levi: T.




Jon: Thank you, Cogsworth. Preston, your turn.

[Preston spins]

[$175]

Preston: M.

Freddie: I don't believe it! There are three M's!

[_ _ _ M   &
_ _ M _ _ _ M  _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N _   _ _ _ _ N]

Jon: $525.

[Preston spins again]

[$525]

Preston: L?

Freddie: L as in Loss of Turn. There are none of them. We go back to Calvin.

[Calvin spins]

[$750]

[Applause]

Calvin: Ummmmmmmm.....

Jon: Quickly!

Calvin: Ummmmmmmm.....

[BUZZER!]

Jon: Too much time. Levi, your turn.

[Levi spins]

[$625]

Levi: C.

Freddie: There's a single C.

[_ _ _ M   &
_ _ M _ C _ M _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N _   _ _ _ _ N]

Jon: $625.

[Levi spins again]

[As the wheel is at Power]

Jon: Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

[$700]

Jon: Oh, so close! It had to click.

Levi: R.

Freddie: You're in luck. We have one.

[_ R _ M   &
_ _ M _ C _ M _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N _   _ _ _ _ N]

Jon: $1,325.

Levi: I like to buy a vowel. An O.

Freddie: Three Stooges, Three Chipmunks, Three Chipettes, three O's.

[_ R O M   &
_ O M _ C O M _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N _   _ _ _ _ N]

Jon: Down to $1,075.

Levi: Buy The E?

Freddie: Three E's.

[_ R O M   &
_ O M E C O M _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N _   _ _ E E N]

Jon: $825.

[Levi spins]

[$500]

Levi: D.

Freddie: There's a single D.

[_ R O M   &
_ O M E C O M _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N D   _ _ E E N]

Jon: $1,325.

[Levi spins again]

[$50]

Levi: P.

Freddie: Let's put a single P in the puzzle.

[P R O M   &
_ O M E C O M _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N D   _ _ E E N]

Jon: $1,375.

[Levi spins again]

[$100]

Levi: Q.

Freddie: That's a rarely used letter. There is one Q.

[P R O M   &
_ O M E C O M _ N _
_ _ N _   _ N D   Q _ E E N]

Jon: $1,475.

Levi: Gotta keep going! [spins]

[$150]

Levi: G.

Freddie: Double your pleasure! There's are two G's.

[P R O M   &
_ O M E C O M _ N G
_ _ N G   _ N D   Q _ E E N]

Jon: $1,775.

[Levi spins again]

[$25]

Levi: H.

Freddie: Hello! Oh, I mean. There is an H.

[P R O M   &
H O M E C O M _ N G
_ _ N G   _ N D   Q _ E E N]

Jon: Up to $1,800.

Levi: One more time! [spins]

[Power]

Theodore: POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!

Jon: Thank you, Theodore!

Levi: PUT THAT K IN THE PUZZLE NOW!!!

[Laughter!]

Alvin: [as he turns said letter over] Will do!

[P R O M   &
H O M E C O M _ N G
K _ N G   _ N D   Q _ E E N]

Freddie: Now, Levi. What would you like to use the Power on?  Calvin has $300. Preston has $525.

Levi: Preston.

Jon: Let's put $525 from Preston to Levi. You now have $2,300.

[CHIRP-CHIRP-CHIRP-CHIRP!]

Jon: And that sounds means...

Alvin: Only vowels left!

Jon: Thank you, Alvin. Buy a vowel or solve?

Levi: I'm solvin' this puzzle.

Jon: For $2,300. What is it?

Levi: PROM & HOMECOMING KING & QUEEN.

Freddie: That's a good solve!

[Applause]

[PROM &
HOMECOMMING
KING AND QUEEN]

Jon: That is one hell of a command when you called that K.

Levi: Thank you.

Jon: $2,300 for you. Let's move on to Round 2.



Jon: $1,000 is the top dollar value for this round. Don't forget we have Super Bankrupts on the wheel.

[Audience boos]

Jon: Land on that and all of your money goes to waste. Even won in the previous round. Here's the puzzle.

Freddie: The category is Before & After.

[_ _   _ _ _    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _   _ _   _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _]

Jon: Levi, you'll lead off.

[Levi spins]

[$150]

Levi: R.

Freddie: There is uno. That's one in Spanish.

[_ _   _ _ _    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _   _ _   _ _ _   R _ _ _ _]


Jon: $150. Spin again.

[Levi spins again]

[Free Spin]

[Applause]

Freddie: I see some cardboard in your future.

Alvin: [hands Levi a Free Spin token] Levi, you've just won a Free Spin. Courtesy of ACME Crime Net. In any event you lose your turn, you get a free one!

Freddie: Spin it again please.

[Levi spins the wheel again]

[$50]

Levi: N.

Freddie: Three.

[_ _   _ _ _    _ _ N _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _   _ N   _ _ _   R _ N _ _]


Jon: $300. You now have enough to buy a vowel.

[Levi spins again]

[$400]

Levi: S.

Freddie: Hey, Brittany. Is there an S?

Brittany: Ummmmmmm....Nope. No S.

Freddie: But you get to spin the wheel again!

[Levi spins again]

[$825]

Levi: T.

Freddie: There is one and another.


[_ _   _ _ _    _ _ _ T _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _   _ N   T _ _   R _ N _ _]

Jon: $1,900.

Levi: I like to buy a vowel. An A as in Alvin.

Alvin: Why thank you, Levi. There's only one.

[_ _   _ _ _    _ _ _ T _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _   _ N   T _ _   R A N _ _]

Jon: Down to $1,650.

[Levi spins again]

[$500]

Levi: M.

Freddie: Uh-huh. Two M's.

[M _   _ _ _    _ _ _ T _ _ _ _
_ _ M _   _ _   T _ _   R A N _ _]

Jon: $2,650.

[Levi spins again]

[$450]

Levi: L.

Jon: There it is!

[M _   _ L _    _ _ _ T _ _ _ _
_ _ M _   _ N   T _ _   R A N _ _]

Jon: $3,100.

Levi: I like to buy a vowel. An E.

Freddie: Yeppers. Four E's.

[M _   _ L _    _ E _ T _ _ _ _
_ _ M E   _ N   T _ E   R A N _ E]

Jon: $2,850.

Levi: I would also like to buy an O.

Freddie: You bet, Levi! Three O's.

[M _   O L _    _ E _ T _ _ _ _
_ O M E   O N   T _ E   R A N _ E]

Jon: $2,600.

[Levi spins again]

[$625]

Levi: K.

Freddie: Two strikeouts! Oops! Make that two K's.

[Laughter!]

Brittany: [as she turns said letters] You're funny, Freddie!

[M _   O L _    K E N T _ _ K _
_ _ M E   O N   T _ E   R A N _ E]

Jon: $3,850.

Levi: How about we buy the U?

Freddie: U bet! One!

[M _   O L _    K E N T U _ K _
_ _ M E   O N   T _ E   R A N _ E]

Jon: Down to $3,600.

Freddie:That's it for the vowels. Spin or Solve?

Levi: I'll solve.

Jon: For $3,600. What is it?

Levi: MY OLD KENTUCKY HOME ON THE RANGE.

Freddie: YES!!

[Applause]

[MY OLD KENTUCKY
HOME ON THE RANGE]

Jon: Levi, $3,600 you've won in this round. Combined with the $2,300 you've won in the previous round, brings you a total of $5,900. Calvin and Preston, still some time to gain some money. Right now, I will like to have a word with our viewers at home. The first thing is our home viewer contest. Here's the puzzle we gave you last time. The category was Person.

[PET LOVER]

Jon: And here are the winners for today.

WINNERS

Mikey Kopecki
Bronx, NY

Greg Marce
Spencer, OH

Cloe Lee
Morris, CO

John Aiko
York, PA 

Doris Brody
Sarasota, FL


Jon: Congratulations to the winners! Now, first of all I have some bad news and good news. The bad news is our next show will be the last one of the season.

[Audience "aaaaws"]

Jon: After our next show, Freddie and I will be going camping until the fall. The good news is:  We've been renewed for another season!

[Applause]

Jon: Yes. We will be spending twelve weeks of non-constructive downtime making some changes to what's in store for next season. We'll give more more details on that on our next show. Right now, it is time for the $500 Bonus Category Round. If you can solve the puzzle, you can win an extra $500 by performing one simple task. Let's look at our wheel.



Jon: Top dollar value is $2000. Don't forget about the Super Bankrupts. Freddie?

Freddie: [hums] What's the name of that song? The category is What's That Song? If you solve the puzzle and tell me the name of the song, it can land you $500. Good luck.

[_ _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _   _ _ _ _ _ 
_ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _]

Jon: A lot of money at stake. Preston, spin the wheel.

[Preston spins]

[$775]

Preston: S.

Freddie: Time to do a some math. Take that amount and times it by 5! Five S'!

[_ _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _   _ _ _ _ S 
_ _ _   _ _ _ _ S _ S    _ _ _
_ _ _ _ S _ S ]

Jon: $3,875.

[Preston spins again]

[$1100]

Preston: R.

Freddie: Way to double up. There's Two.

[_ _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _   _ _ R _ S 
_ _ _   _ _ R _ S _ S    _ _ _
_ _ _ _ S _ S ]

Jon: $6,075.

Preston: I like to buy a vowel. An E.

Freddie: Two E's.

[_ _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _   _ _ R _ S 
_ _ _   _ _ R _ S E S    _ _ _
_ _ _ _ S E S ]

Jon: $5,825.

Preston: I also like to buy an A.

Freddie: You know how many they are? Four.

[_ _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _   _ _ R _ S 
A _ _   _ _ R A S E S    A _ _
_ _ A _ S E S ]

Jon: $5,575.

Preston: I like to buy an O as well.

Freddie: Three O's.

[_ O O _ _ _ _    _ _   _ O R _ S 
A _ _   _ _ R A S E S    A _ _
_ _ A _ S E S ]

Jon: $5,325.

Preston: Enough vowel buying. I'm spinning. [spins]

[As the wheel is at $125]

Jon: Uh-oh! Uh-oh!

[Lose A Turn]

Freddie: Well, Preston.

Theodore: You're gonna lose your turn! (Freddie: Na, na, na-na-na-na!)

Simon: You're gonna lose your turn! (Freddie: Na, na, na-na-na-na!)

Hunter: You're gonna lose your turn! (Freddie: Na, na, na-na-na-na!)

Freddie: You have lost your turn!

Jon: Yep. Calvin, it's your turn.

[Calvin spins]

[$1400]

Calvin: T as in Theodore.

Theodore: Why thank you, Calvin. But I have bad news. There is no T.

Freddie: Yep. Levi, it's your turn.

[Levi spins]

[$1400]

Levi: R?

Freddie: Ummmmmmm.....Levi?

Levi: Yes?

Alvin: [whispers into Simon's ear] That letter's already been called.

Simon: [whispers into Hunter's ear] That letter's already been called.

Hunter: [whispers into Freddie's ear] That letter's already been called.

Everyone else: THAT LETTER'S ALREADY BEEN CALLED!!!

Freddie: Pay to attention to that used letter board. We skip ya. Preston, it's your turn.

[Preston spins]

[As the wheel is at Bankrupt]

Jon: Hold your breath...!

[Bankrupt]

[Preston's turns off and reboots to $0]

Jon: The black screen of bankrupt and the score is rebooted to zero. I am so sorry, Preston. We go back to Calvin.

[Calvin spins]

[$1000]

Calvin: N.

Freddie: Three N's

[_ O O _ _ N _    _ _   _ O R _ S 
A N _   _ _ R A S E S    A N _
_ _ A _ S E S ]

Jon: $3,000.

[Calvin spins again]

[$1250]

Calvin: H.

Freddie: Yes, sir! We got two of them!

[H O O _ _ N _    _ _   _ O R _ S 
A N _   _ H R A S E S    A N _
_ _ A _ S E S ]

Jon: $5,500.

[Calvin spins again]

[As the wheel is at $400]

Jon: Oh no!

[Super Bankrupt]

Freddie: And the actual retail price of that is.....$5,500. That's a big goddamn ARP.

[As the $5,500 disappears from Calvin's podium]

Freddie: All gone!

Jon: Tough break. Levi, it's your turn.

[Levi spins]

[As the wheel is at Super Bankrupt]

Jon: Watch out! WATCH OUT!!!

[$1250]

Jon: Saved by the click!

Levi: WHEW! D!

Freddie: How's three D's sound to you?

[H O O _ _ N _    _ _   _ O R D S 
A N D   _ H R A S E S    A N D
_ _ A _ S E S ]

Jon: $3,750.

[Levi spins again]

[$2000]

[Applause]

Levi: P.

Freddie: How is $4,000 worth of P's sound to you?

[Applause]

[H O O _ _ N _    _ P   _ O R D S 
A N D   P H R A S E S    A N D
_ _ A _ S E S ]

Jon: $7,750.

Levi: I am going to solve the puzzle.

Jon: For $7,750. What is it?

Levi: HOOKING UP WORDS AND PHRASES AND CLAUSES.

Freddie: YEAH!!!

[Applause]

[HOOKING UP WORDS
AND PHRASES AND
CLAUSES]

Jon: Now, Levi, for an additional $500, tell me the name of the song!

Levi: I was introduced to that by my fourth grade teacher. Conjunction Junction.

Sora: What's your function?

Jon: Hooking up words and phrases and clauses!

[Applause]

Jon: My favorite Schoolhouse Rock song. $500 more for you. $8,250. Plus the $5,900 you've won earlier. You have a total of $14,150!

[Applause]

Jon: Preston and Calvin, there's one last chance to gain some money and possibly go to the bonus round. It's time for the Big Money Round.



Jon: In a moment, Freddie will give the wheel a final spin. I'll ask you to give me a letter and if it's in the puzzle, you have five seconds to solve it. Vowels are worth nothing. Consonants are worth $1,000 plus whatever amount Freddie lands on. Spin it, Freddie.

Freddie: [spins] The wheel of morality. Turn, turn, turn! Tell us the lesson that we should learn.

[Laughter!]

Aqune: You're funny, Freddie!

[$0]

Jon: $1,000 is what consonants are worth today. Freddie, what's the category.

Freddie: The category is Rhyme Time.

[_ _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 
_ _ _ _ _   _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _]

Jon: Calvin, we'll begin with you. A letter please.

Calvin: R.

Jon: Four R's.

[_ _ R _ _   _ _ _ _ _ R _ 
_ R _ _ _   _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ R _]

[Aftewards...]

[BUZZER!]

Jon: Levi.

Levi: S.

Jon: Three S's.

[_ _ R _ _   S _ _ _ _ R S 
_ R _ _ _   _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ R S]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Jon: Preston.

Preston: L.

Jon: Two L's.

[_ _ R _ L   S _ _ _ _ R S 
_ R _ _ _   _ _ _   _ L _ _ _ R S]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Jon: Calvin?

Calvin: N.

Jon: One N.

[_ _ R _ L   S _ _ _ _ R S 
_ R _ N _   _ _ _   _ L _ _ _ R S]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Jon: Levi?

Levi: T?

Jon: No T. Preston?

Preston: E.

Jon: No money for the vowels. Three E's. You get five seconds.

[_ _ R _ L   S _ _ _ E R S 
_ R _ N _   _ _ _   _ L _ _ _E R S]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Jon: Calvin?

Calvin: M.

Jon: One M.

[_ _ R _ L   S _ _ _ E R S 
_ R _ N _   M _ _   _ L _ _ _E R S]

[BUZZER!]

Calvin: APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY FLOWERS.

Jon: Judges?

Judge: A split second late.

Calvin: Damn!

Jon: Levi.

Levi: A.

Jon: Two A's. What do we have?

Levi: APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY FLOWERS!

Freddie: YOU DID IT!!!

[Cheers and applause]

[APRIL SHOWERS
BRING MAY FLOWERS]

Jon: Well first, Calvin solved the puzzle a split-second late. You said April after the buzzer sounded. But, Levi solved the puzzle right on time! You've won $3,000. You're going to the Bonus Round with $17,150!

[Applause]

Jon: Before we get to that, Calvin and Preston, sorry things didn't work out here on the show. We at ACME are not going send you home empty handed, each of you will take home $500 and our thanks.

Preston: You're welcome.

Calvin: Thank you.

Jon: Well, Levi, come with me!

[He and Levi go to the Bonus Round where Hunter and Aqune (each holding a tray of five envelopes) await]

Hunter: Boy, Levi, you are a great puzzle solver!

Jon: All right, Levi. Hunter and Aqune each have five envelopes. Each containing a multiplier. Four of them have a double, three of the have a triple, two of them have quadruple. But only one of them will increase your winnings by 10. You could go home with over $171,000. Pick an envelope and good luck.

[Levi takes an envelope off of Aqune's tray]

Aqune: Good Luck.

Jon: All right, Levi. We got a little puzzle to solve. The category is what? Freddie?

Freddie: Thing.

Jon: We're giving you every instance of R-S-T-L-N-E.

[_ R _ N _ _ _]

Jon: Okay, Levi. You got some work to do here. Three consonants and a vowel.

Levi: D-G-V-O.

Jon: Hmmmm...

Hunter: Nope. I don't see any letters appearing.

Jon: I am sorry, Levi. Anything can happen. We're gonna give you ten seconds to tell us what is is. Studio audience, I don't want to hear a peep from you. She has to do this on her own. Use the used letter board if you have to. Talk it out. You'll never know. Good luck!

[As Levi stutters]

Levi: Oh man!

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!] (time's up!)

Jon: That was a toughie. Let's see what it is.

[URANIUM]

Jon: Uranium! I am sorry. We're gonna open the envelope and see what you passed on. [opens the envelope to reveal:] Ooooooooh. It was the quadruple. You would have quadrupled your money. But listen, Levi, you're taking home $17,150.

Levi: I had a great time!

Jon: We thank you for being here. [to the camera] Well, next time we get together will be the last show of the season. That will be on Memorial Day weekend. So please stay tuned for it. For Freddie, Brittany, Hunter, Aqune, and the Chipmunks. This is Jonathan Mann reminding you to....

Freddie, Aqune, Hunter, Brittany, and Chipmunks: Keep on spinnin' and keep on solvin'!

Jon: I was getting into that!

[Laughter!; Applause]

ACME Wheel of Fortune
Based on the game show creatred by
MERV GRIFFIN

All contestants have been briefed
regarding game rules prior to
their appearance.

This program has been edited for broadcast.



Alvin: Produced in New York City, ACME Wheel is a production of an elite unit known as ACME Crime Net. Vigilance, dedication, courage!

Freddie: Come and get it like your life depends on it! Watch the next episode, or I'll pump you full of holes!

Brittany: No one asked you to do the closing card, Fredrick!

Freddie: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!

Last edited by ACME Crime Net (5/02/2018 8:21 pm)