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2/10/2019 8:51 pm  #1


Side-Fic 303: Happy Birthday, Antonia

Rated TV-14 (DLSV)

Antonia: Remember to watch the show in a brightly lit room, and don't sit too close to the monitor. It's showtime!



Narrator: In New York City's fight against crime, the dedicated detectives who pursue the most vicious criminals are members of an elite unit known as ACME Crime Net.

[Green Haven Correctional Facility, Saturday, December 15th, 6:55pm]

[There is a massive riot in the mess hall; outside the prison walls, one of the inmates (played by Thomas Dekker) pops up through a manhole]

Andre: Liza, this is for all the misery you caused me.

[132 Madison Street, Sunday, December 16th, 3:42pm]

[Antonia enters the Cosmo Cats' room wearing a beautiful dress]

Manami: Hey, Toni. Nice dress.

Antonia: Thanks. I'm going out for my birthday tonight. Big gala at Lincoln Center with members of the Underside of the Kitten's Paw.

Maya: And Sara and I are to guide her.

Kio: But your birthday's not until tomorrow.

Sara: The club prefers to have the gala the night before.

Antonia: I'd have invited you guys, but with the Demonoids around, you have too much work on your plate. Besides, the birthday gala's no big deal.

[Eris' bell chimes; she taps on it]

Eris: I read you, Captain.

Qoone: Come to the lab immediately. There's been a jailbreak.

[Cut to the lab; Qoone shows the gang a rap sheet on the main monitor]

Qoone: This is Oren Andre. I received word from Captain Lee that Andre escaped from Green Haven.

Eris: What was he in for, Captain?

Qoone: Two years ago, he was a science major at New York University, but one of his fellow students caught him selling deadly weapons he manufactured to drug dealers. He was sentenced to 10 years in Green Haven, but just last night, he started a riot and escaped. We fear he might be going after his partner: Professor Liza Adelson, who reported him in the first place. Since ACME has most of their hands full with other cases, it's up to the Cosmo Cats. Kio, I'd like for you to choose a partner to help you stake out Professor Adelson's laboratory.

Kio: That's where Antonia comes in.

Antonia: Me?

Kio: You're the best at surveillance, so you're the best person for the job.

Antonia: I know, but we could be on stakeout until tomorrow, maybe longer. I'll miss my birthday gala.

Kio: And your birthday tomorrow. Sorry, Toni, but this is a very important task. We can't use a birthday as an excuse to take the day off. Besides, I thought you said your gala wasn't a big deal.

Antonia: I lied!

[Cut to an abandoned apartment building; Kio and Antonia rearrange things]

Antonia: Crashing in a grimy hole before my 15th birthday-- This sucks.

Kio: Well, whining won't end this stakeout any sooner.

Antonia: I'm not whining. I'm just upset. This just isn't fair.

Kio: Will you get over yourself? There's always next year.

Antonia: Anyway, I'm surprised Maya and Sara didn't join us on this stakeout.

Kio: We can't afford to blow our cover. Now, can we please get our stakeout underway?

[He looks at the professor's lab through his binoculars; inside is Professor Liza Adelson herself (played by Elle Fanning)]

Kio: Whoa...

Antonia: Hmm?

Kio: Captain Qoone forgot to mention how cute Liza Adelson is.

Antonia: [takes the binoculars] Gimme those.

[She looks at the professor through the binoculars]

Antonia: Well, she does have a nice smile, and... Wait a minute. Kio, you don't think Andre used to be a womanizer, huh?

Kio: Like the captain said, it's all about Liza squealing on Andre.

Antonia: Hmm. Well, don't get too attached to Adelson. You have three wives and one future bride.

Kio: Come on! As if I'd ever betray them.

[He continues watching over Liza]

[Inwood Hill Park, Monday, December 17th, 10:51am]

[Eris, Aoi, and Manami approach the Indian Caves; they step 12 feet away from a cave]

Eris: This is where Captain Qoone traced the reading.

[They notice Andre approaching the cave]

Manami: Andre!

[She is about to charge, when Aoi pulls her back]

Aoi: Shh! Stay here. We gotta see what he wants in that cave first.

[Inside the cave, Andre unearths a brown box and opens it, revealing six small devices]

Andre: Just as I left them. Just need Liza's activator, and they'll be ready for use to neutralize any machine. [snickers]

[He exits the cave, only to find Eris, Aoi, and Manami blocking his path with their weapons]

Eris: Drop those devices and get your hands up!

Andre: [scoffs] Mr. Westcott did warn me about you. [whips out a gold dog tag] Engage!

[He gets suited up into his Super Cyber Demon Gear unit and whips out his swords]

Andre: Power to the Demonoids!

[He charges at the trio]

Eris: Get him!

[She and the other two fight Andre with their weapons rigorously over the next two minutes]

[Afterwards, Andre whips out smoke bombs]

Andre: Love to stay and chat, but I've got an appointment with an old friend.

[He chucks the smoke bombs to the ground, setting them off; after the smoke clears, Andre is gone]

Manami: Damn it! He got away!

Aoi: Let's just hope Kio and Antonia stop him from reaching Dr. Adelson.

[11:29:24am]

[Back at Kio and Antonia's hideout, Antonia looks at Liza's apartment through the binoculars]

Antonia: [sighs] This is boring. How much longer, Kio?

Kio: Until Qoone says so.

[A knock is heard; Kio walks up to the door and opens it, revealing Shido holding two boxes of pizza and four cold cans of Pepsi]

Shido: [hands Kio the pizza and sodas] Here you go, Kio. One large pepperoni, one large sausage, four Pepsis.

Kio: [hands Shido $30] Thanks, Shido. Keep the change.

Shido: Good luck on the stakeout.

[He leaves; Kio closes the door]

Kio: Antonia, come and eat.

[Antonia walks up to him]

Antonia: Pizza? But why?

Kio: I felt really bad about you missing your birthday gala, so I ordered us a couple pies to cheer you up. Besides, staking out is hungry work.

Antonia: Oh, Kio...

Kio: Pepperoni or sausage?

Antonia: Pepperoni first, please.

[Kio hands her a slice of pepperoni; she eats it]

Antonia: Guess that stupid gala really is no big deal after all. You know something, Kio?

Kio: Hmm?

Antonia: Truth be told, I've always hated those birthday galas. They've been really boring ever since my parents and grandpa died.

Kio: Think you got it bad? I hadn't had a good birthday since my parents left me. It's always been me, Manami, and Uncle Yuichi. Then Aoi came along, then Eris, then you.

Antonia: You wanna know why I'd still go to these birthday galas even after I lost my parents?

Kio: Why?

Antonia: Because it's always been the Morfenoss tradition, dating back to Grandpa's 21st birthday. There's always a gala the night before that family member's birthday. But mine had been totally dull lately. I always felt like a fish out of water. But I didn't wanna break tradition. That's why I didn't wanna go on this stakeout.

Kio: You could've at least told us.

Antonia: I was too nervous. Besides, to have to go on stakeout on your birthday-- It's just no fun. I just really wanted to celebrate my birthday with you and the others. But now I know I can't. Oh, well. At least this pizza can make up for it. Kio, can you forgive me for being a spoiled brat today?

Kio: Of course. I'm just sorry I might've ruined your special day.

Antonia: Thanks.

[They hold hands]

[Meanwhile, out on the streets, Andre is nearing the apartment building]

Andre: You're mine, Liza.

[Suddenly, Harry approaches him, wearing a cloak]

Harry: Oren Andre?

Andre: Yes. Who are you?

Harry: Let's just say I'm a merchant. You can call me Uncle Harry.

Andre: What do you want with me, "Uncle Harry"? I've got a meeting with an old friend.

Harry: For what?

Andre: [shows Harry his devices] These. I created these so they could neutralize any machine. My old friend Liza Adelson manufactured an activator for it, but she ratted me out to the cops for setting a fire to our science lab before I could get the chance to use it.

Harry: I've got just the thing to boost their power even further. But it comes with a price.

Andre: [hands Harry $10,000] This is all I had left in my life savings before I was arrested two years ago.

Harry: 10 grand works for me. [hands Andre a remote] Using this, you'll summon your own giant robot.

[Noah Higgenbottom approaches]

Andre: And who are you?

Noah: Noah Higgenbottom, graduate Exceed of the England branch of Kouryou Academy, and mechanic extraordinaire. [as Harry hands him $5,000] Thank you, Uncle Harry.

Andre: Would you be so kind as to give me the details of my new robot?

Noah: Certainly. It's called Sigmund. Like the hero of the Völsunga saga of the same name, this one wields a sword. It also may work with your friend's activator.

Andre: [smiles] Lucky day. [ventures forth]

Noah: Let's go, Uncle Harry. We've still got to find a way to kill the Crystal Exceeds.

Harry: Uh-huh.

[They leave]

[Inside Liza's apartment, Liza is doing research; she gets a text from her mother: "How's the project coming along?"; Liza replies: "Smoothly."; the doorbell rings]

Liza: This late? Seriously? [sighs] Figures.

[She walks up to the door and opens it, revealing Andre]

Andre: Long time, no see, Liza.

Liza: Oren! How did you get out?!

Andre: Forget that! [grabs Liza] You're coming with me!

[Back at Kio and Antonia's hideout, Kio and Antonia hear Liza screaming]

Antonia: I hope that's not...

[She looks out the window through the binoculars to find Andre pulling Liza out of her apartment]

Antonia: Liza's in trouble!

Kio: Time to go to work, Toni!

[They rush out; Kio rushes back in and grabs what's left of the pizza, then leaves]

[On the rooftop of Liza's apartment building, Andre forcefully pulls Liza to the greenhouse, holding her at gunpoint]

Andre: Are you sure this is where you hid your activator?

Liza: Yes, but I should've destroyed it the moment you were arrested. You could've used your genius to help so many people.

Andre: That was never my goal. It was yours.

Liza: You wasted your genius.

Andre: Wasted? The devices I sold to those drug dealers could've made me millions if you hadn't squealed on me. Now, bring me the activator!

[Liza enters the greenhouse, then comes out with a small device and hands it to Andre]

Andre: At last, I can put ACME's mecha out to pasture!

Kio and Antonia: ACME Crime Net! FREEZE!

[Kio and Antonia burst in as Cosmo Black and White, pointing their weapons at Andre]

Liza: Cosmo Cats?!

Antonia: Let her go, Andre!

Kio: And drop that activator!

Andre: Oh, I've no use for her anymore. [gets equipped with his unit] I've got what I came for. But I've got you two to deal with first!

Antonia: Kio, get Liza to safety. I'll handle this clown.

Kio: You got it.

[He rushes up to Liza]

Kio: Come on. I'll get you home and call for backup.

Liza: Thank you.

[She follows him downstairs]

Antonia: You've got a date with justice, Andre!

Andre: [whips out his swords] Well, the date's off!

[Both fight with their weapons over the next minute]

Antonia: You're going back to prison, but this time, you're staying there for good!

Andre: Never gonna happen!

[He strikes Antonia down w/his swords, then whips out one of his devices]

Andre: I'm sure Westcott wouldn't mind if I used one of these neutralizers on you. The first test of the activator.

[Using the activator, he injects power into the neutralizer, then attaches it to his Quantum Cannon]

Andre: One blast will neutralize you for good. CHARGE!

[His cannon, powered by the neutralizer, charges]

Antonia: [gets back on her feet] Don't count your chickens before they hatch!

[Andre fires his cannon at Antonia, who narrowly dodges the blast and strikes Andre with her Cosmo Grappler]

Andre: Damn it!

[Antonia strikes Andre with a spinning kick]

Antonia: You're one tough cookie, but I'm tougher!

[The other four Cosmo Cats join her, weapons on hand]

Eris: Antonia!

Aoi: Backup's here!

Antonia: Glad you could show up. [to Kio] And Liza?

Kio: Backup cops are guarding her home. Andre won't touch her now.

Andre: So you say, but once I kill you, I'll get those cops out of my way and kill Liza. After all, she did rat me out to the cops two years ago.

Manami: You ought not have made deals with drug dealers in the first place, asshole!

Eris: Roll call! With the fierceness of the mighty tiger! Cosmo Red!

Aoi: With the strength of the mighty jaguar! Cosmo Blue!

Manami: With the speed of the mighty cheetah! Cosmo Yellow!

Antonia: With the tenacity of the mighty snow leopard! Cosmo White!

Kio: With the courage of the mighty lion! Cosmo Black!

Eris: Guardians of Catia.

Antonia: Guardians of Earth.

Eris and Antonia: We stand and fight for what it's worth!

All five Cosmo Cats: Cosmo Cats, we are united!

[Andre fires lasers at them, but they dodge; Aoi and Manami jump up and strike him w/their weapons, then Kio and Antonia, then Eris]

Andre: Good thing I've got my plan B handy. [whips out his remote] Sigmund, activate!

[A giant robot resembling a warrior emerges from underground; Andre jumps into the cockpit]

Antonia: MagnaDroid time!

[The Cosmo MagnaShip, CatiEarth One, and Eris' ship fly into the scene and combine to form the Cosmo MagnaDroid; the Cosmo Cats jump into the cockpit, with Antonia at the front seat]

Antonia: Ready to roll! Cosmo MagnaDroid sabers, energize!

[Outside, both mecha get into a fight with their swords]

Andre: Multiplication!

[Sigmund multiplies]

Eris: No way! How'd he do that?!

Andre: Another of my robot's specialties. Attack!

[All copies lunge at the MagnaDroid and purposely miss; the real Sigmund strikes the distracted MagnaDroid w/its saber]

Aoi: Think you can fool us with fakes? Jaguar Missiles!

[The MagnaDroid fires its Jaguar Missiles at one Sigmund, vaporizing it]

Manami: That one's a fake!

Eris: Fire 2!

[The MagnaDroid fires at three more; all are fakes]

Manami: Fire 3!

[The MagnaDroid fires at the last three; all are fakes]

Manami: Sh*t! They're all fakes!

[Unknown to them, the real Sigmund is invisible; it charges at the MagnaDroid from behind]

Eris: [hears thumping sounds] Turn around!

[The MagnaDroid turns around and dodges, then strikes the invisible Sigmund w/its sabers, disabling its invisibility]

[Cut to Sigmund's cockpit; Andre loads all of his neutralizers and the activator into the controls]

Andre: No more games. [boosts power] Power boost: 10,000%! FIRE!

[Outside, Sigmund gets equipped with a giant neutralizer and fires at the MangaDroid, hitting it]

Andre: Aw, don't worry. This level of power can't neutralize mecha that easily. I was only giving you a small sample of what's to come soon.

[Cut to the MagnaDroid's cockpit]

Aoi: He's got some serious ammo. That much I'll give him.

Manami: Aoi, try to remember whose side you're on, okay?!

Eris: Guys! Save it for later!

[Outside, the MagnaDroid gets back on its feet]

[Cut back to Sigmund's cockpit]

Andre: [scoffs] As if nothing ever happened to you. [boosts power] But you won't withstand this! Power boost: 100,000%!

[Cut back outside]

Antonia: That doesn't scare us! Do your worst!

Andre: I plan to! Farewell, Cosmo Cats!

[Sigmund fires a massive blast from its neutralizer (at 1,000 times the power of the last blast) at the MagnaDroid]

Antonia: Brace yourselves!

[The MagnaDroid intercepts the blast]

Kio: I hope you're onto something, Antonia!

Antonia: Just watch! Lion Shield!

[The MagnaDroid gets equipped with the Lion Shield and pushes the blast right back at Sigmund]

[Cut back to Sigmund's cockpit]

Andre: I'm outta here!

[He pushes the ejection button and gets ejected out just before Sigmund takes the blast and engulfs in an explosion; the Cosmo Cats jump out of the MagnaDroid's cockpit and face Andre]

Andre: You may have destroyed my neutralizers and their activator, but I'll build new ones once I get my hands on Liza again.

Antonia: That won't happen. Like I told you, you're going back to prison where you belong! And I'll see to that!

Andre: Give me your best shot!

[Antonia charges at him like a leopard]

Antonia: Leopard Lunge!

[The roar of a leopard is heard as she lunges at Andre and tackles him to the ground, then slashes him repeatedly w/her claws; she jumps off of him, then whips out her grappler]

Antonia: By the way, this is for almost ruining my birthday.

[She grabs Andre with her grappler, lifts him up, and spins him around]

Andre: Cut it out! I'm getting dizzy!

Antonia: Oh, sure! OPA!!

[She stops spinning Andre, then slams him to the ground]

Antonia: [as her grappler glows] Grappler Strike!

[She strikes Andre hard w/her grappler, electrifying him; Andre screams, falls to the ground, and a massive explosion is shown; after the smoke clears, Andre, his unit and dog tag destroyed, lies on the ground; Kio confiscates Andre's weapons and seals them in bags, while Antonia cuffs Andre]

Antonia: Oren Andre, you're under arrest for kidnapping, attempted murder, grand larceny, and breaking out of prison. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford one, one will be appointed to you. Understand?

Andre: Whatever.

[Cops rush upstairs and take Andre away]

Antonia: Cosmo Cats, mission complete! Meow!

[Back at the Nickar, Westcott receives a transmission from Harry]

Westcott: Mr. Andre would've succeeded in bringing me the neutralizers and the activator if you hadn't gotten involved.

Harry: He was already on the verge of losing. He needed that robot.

Westcott: When your robot blew up, it took the activator and every last neutralizer with it.

Harry: Well, that was Andre's own fault.

Westcott: [ends the transmission] What's the use? Andre is back in jail, and we've gained nothing. Cosmo Cats, someday, you'll pay.

[Argon appears before him]

Argon: Master Westcott, forgive me for disturbing you.

Westcott: You're not. What do you have in mind, Argon?

Argon: As a deity of the Underworld, I'm capable of resurrecting the dead, even those from other dimensions. I give you two new human mercenaries from another dimension. Ladies?

[Two shadowy female figures approach]

Figure A: We come to your aid, Mr. Westcott.

Figure B: We're at your command, sir.

Westcott: Why youths like these two?

Argon: You were always looking for young female soldiers for your army. Perhaps these two could help.

Westcott: Hmm... LN?

[LN enters]

LN: You beckoned for me, sir?

Westcott: Escort these two newbies to the training area. I think we've got ourselves a couple of keepers.

LN: Yes, sir. Come, you two.

[The two figures follow LN out]

Westcott: Well done, Argon. You may leave now.

[Argon vanishes]

Westcott: Who knows? Perhaps they might even recruit more women like them for my army. As for Argon,-- Well, if I'm to claim his heart, I should wait until Argon has finished serving his purpose. After all, there are still things I need him to do before he goes. [snickers]

[132 Madison Street, 12:55pm]

[Antonia comes out of the bathroom, now dressed casually]

Antonia: [stretches] Nothing like a hot shower after a hard day's work.

[Her Assistroid holds up a sign: "Come to the roof!"]

Antonia: Come to the roof? For what?

[The Assistroid beckons her; Antonia follows him upstairs; the rest of the gang, joined by the mothership's crew, Maya, Sara, and the Assistroids, sets off party poppers]

Gang: Happy birthday, Antonia!

Antonia: [gasps in surprise] You guys! This is so sweet!

[She and Kio embrace]

Kio: Happy birthday.

Antonia: Kio, did you do all this?

Kio: Yep. On the way home, I texted the crew to help get everything set up.

Eris: But we kinda got here a little too soon.

Manami: Luckily for us, you chose to take a shower. That gave us plenty of time to finish up.

Aoi: How do you like it?

Antonia: I love it! You guys are the best. Thank you so much.

[All five group hug]

[A bit later, Antonia stands behind the cake with 15 candles; Arisa and Aiko stream it on Facebook for members of Antonia's club to see]

Everyone else: [sings] Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Antonia.
Happy birthday to you!

[Antonia blows out all 15 candles]

Antonia: This is the best birthday ever. I love you guys!



[Clips from the next side-fic are shown]

Eris: Uh-oh. More Demonoid generals?

Kio: And they're both human!

Manami: And where'd they get those sexy costumes?

Aoi: And those dangerous units?

Antonia: Next time on ACME Crime Net: The Twins, or The Punch. Vigilance, dedication, courage!

Last edited by TVLubber (11/10/2023 11:21 am)


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