Rated TV-PG (CC)

Eris: Don't forget to watch in a brightly-lit room, and don't sit too close to your screen. It's time for a special shorten episode of ACME Wheel! Meow!

Jon: [gets out of a car with a key in his hand and puts it in the bowl with four other keys, mixes them up, and gives each key to four ladies] Each of these four lovely ladies has a key to this Toyota Yaris. This car could be in the possession of one of our contestants. Today on...!

All: WHEEL...OF...FORTUNE!

[Cheers and applause]

Eris: The famous wheel is spinning your way towards thousands of dollars in cash! And now from the ACME Studios, here are the stars of our show, Captain Greg Lee!

Greg: What's up, everybody!?

Eris: And Jonathan Mann!

Jon: I thank you, Eris.

Eris: You're welcome, Jon. Meow!

Greg: Hi, everybody. I hope you will all spring forward next week. The days are getting longer than you think. Welcome to a special shorten episode of ACME Wheel.

Jon: That's right folks. Today we are going to do things differently because we have to make room for our local public television stations to promote their pledge drives.

Greg: It's the March Pledge Drive. We want you to support your local public television station. Call the numbers you see on your screen. Public Television: It's TV Worth Watching!

Jon: You bet! Here's how today's show will work: Instead of the usual three contestants, we are going to have two contestants. And Eris is gonna meet them right now.

[Now to the contestants]

Eris: Player #1 loves to garden and hopes to build his own nursery some day. From Long Island, say hello to Carlos Gircheick!

Player #2 enjoys bowling, golf, and enjoys watching The Masters. From Staten Island, meet Andre Gant!  Meow!

[Applause]

Greg: Thanks, Eris. Now, here's how we gonna play the game today. We will play Rounds 1 and 2, and then the Big Money Round. No $500 Bonus Category Round. No Home Viewer Game. The player who has the most money at the end of the game will have a chance to increase their winnings up to 10x and maybe win a car!

[Applause]

Greg: Here's the wheel for our first round.



Greg: And here's the first puzzle.

Jon: The category is Person.

Greg: And remember Person does not always mean...

Eris: Proper Name!

[_ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _]

Greg: Carlos, you won the toss back stage. Spin the wheel!

[Carlos spins]

[$50]

Carlos: R.

Jon: Way to triple up! There are three R's.

[_ _ _ R _ _ R _ _
_ _ _ _ _ R]

Greg: $150. Not enough for a vowel. Spin again.

[Carlos spins again]

[$500]

Carlos: M.

Jon: M as in Meow. Two meows!

[_ _ _ R _ _ R _ _
M _ M _ _ R]

Greg: $1150.

Carlos: I like to buy a vowel. An E.

Jon: I don't believe it! There are 4 E's!

[_ _ _ R _ E R E _
M E M _ E R]

Greg: Down to $900.

[Carlos spins again]

[Lose A Turn]

Eris: Carlos, you have the right to loose your turn. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. We may get back to you so you can spin the wheel again and probably earn more money.

Jon: Yep. Still some time left so hang in there. Andre, it's your turn.

[Andre spins]

[$600]

Andre: Is there a T?

Jon: Yep. There is one.

[_ _ _ R T E R E _
M E M _ E R]

Greg: $600.

[Andre spins again]

[$125]

Andre: D.

Jon: One.

[_ _ _ R T E R E D
M E M _ E R]

Greg: $725.

[Andre spins again]

[$25]

Andre: S?

Jon: Sorry! No S. Carlos, back to you.

[Carlos spins]

[$75]

Carlos: H.

Jon: How-how-how is a single H sound?

[_ H _ R T E R E D
M E M _ E R]

Greg: $975.

[Carlos spins again]

[$175]

Carlos: C.

Greg: One C.

[C H _ R T E R E D
M E M _ E R]

Greg: $1,150.

Carlos: I'll solve.

Greg: Go ahead.

Carlos: CHARTERED MEMBER.

Jon: You got it!

[Applause]

[CHARTERED
MEMBER]

Greg: Amazing, Carlos! You have $1,150. Andre, you can get on the board in the next round. Let's put the Super Bankrupt on the wheel.



Greg: And here is our next puzzle.

Jon: The category is Phrase.

[_ _   _ _ _    _ _ _ _ _
_ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _]

Greg: Andre, spin.

[Andre spins]

[$800]

Andre: T.

Jon: I don't believe it! You know how many they are? Two.

[_ _   T _ _    _ _ T _ _
_ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _]

Greg: $1600.

[Andre spins again]

[$250]

Andre: R.

Jon: There is one R, plus another.

[_ _   T _ _    _ _ T _ _
_ _   _ _ _ R _ _ _ _ R]

Greg: $2,100.

[Andre spins again]

[$650]

Andre: S.

Jon: One + One = 2 S'!

[_ _   T _ _    _ _ T _ S
_ _   _ _ S R _ _ _ _ R]

Greg: $3,400.

[Andre spins again]

[$700]

Andre: M. Err--M.

Greg: Got to take the first letter. You said M first. There are no M's. 

Andre: Damn!

Greg: That's how game shows work. I got to take the first command. Carlos, it's your turn.

[Carlos spins]

[$625]

Carlos: N.

Jon: There is uno. That's one in Spanish.

[_ N   T _ _    _ _ T _ S
_ _   _ _ S R _ _ _ _ R]

Greg: $625.

[Carlos spins again]

[$300]

Carlos: H.

Jon: Two H's.

[_ N   T H _    _ _ T H S
_ _   _ _ S R _ _ _ _ R]

Greg: $1,225.

Carlos: I like to buy a vowel. An E.

Jon: Three E's.

[_ N   T H E    _ E _ T H S
_ _   _ _ S R E _ _ _ R]

Greg: $975.

Carlos: Also the I.

Jon: Three I's. Good buy.

[I N   T H E    _ E _ T H S
_ _   _ I S R E _ _ I R]

Greg: $725.

[Carlos spins again]

[$1000]

[Applause]

Carlos: D.

Jon: Let's see two of those at that amount equals....OH MA DANG!!!

[I N   T H E    D E _ T H S
_ _   D I S R E _ _ I R]

Greg: You're up to $2,725.

Carlos: I'll solve.

Greg: Go ahead.

Carlos: IN THE DEATHS OF DISREPAIR.

[BUZZER!]

Greg: No. That is not correct. Andre, it's your turn.

[Andre spins]

[$75]

Andre: P.

Jon: PP. Two P's.

[Laughter!]

[I N   T H E    D E P T H S
_ _   D I S R E P _ I R]

Andre: I'll solve.

Greg: For $3,550.

Andre: IN THE DEPTHS OF DISREPAIR.

Greg: That's the one!

[Applause]

[IN THE DEPTHS
OF DISREPAIR]

Greg: You see, Carlos. You replaced the P with an A in "depths" but it's "In the depths of disrepair."  But Andre, you solved that puzzle perfectly. You have $3,550. Carlos still has $1,150. The Big Money Round is gonna decide who will go to the Bonus Round. Let's get to that right now.



[Greg spins the wheel]

[$0]

Greg: Consonants are worth an even $1,000 today. Jon, what's the puzzle?

Jon: The category is What Are You Doing?

Eris: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!

[_ _ _ _ _ _    _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _]

Greg: Carlos, we'll begin with you. Let's have a letter.

Carlos: T.

Greg: One T.

[_ _ _ _ _ _    _
_ _ _ _ _ _ T]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!}

Greg: Andre?

Andre: M.

Greg: No M. Carlos?

Carlos: E.

Greg: No E. Andre?

Andre: S.

Greg: One S.

[_ _ _ _ _ _    _
_ _ _ S _ _ T]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Greg: Carlos?

Carlos: L.

Greg: Two L's.

[_ _ L _ _ _    _
L _ _ S _ _ T]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Greg: Andre.

Andre: Ummm....

Greg: Quickly!

Andre: Ummmm....

[BUZZER!]

Andre: N.

Greg: It was too late. Carlos.

Carlos: N.

Greg: There's an N.

[_ _ L _ N _    _
L _ _ S _ _ T]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Greg: Andre?

Andre: A.

Greg: Two A's. No money for the vowels.

[_ _ L _ N _    A
L A _ S _ _ T]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Greg: Carlos?

Carlos: G

Greg: One G.

[_ _ L _ N G    A
L A _ S _ _ T]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Greg: Andre?

Andre: W.

Greg: One W.

[_ _ L _ N G    A
L A W S _ _ T]

[Afterwards...]

[BUZZER!]

Greg: Carlos.

Carlos: F!

Greg: Yes! What do we have?

Carlos: FILING  A LAWSUIT!

Greg: That a-boy!

[Applause]

[FILING A
LAWSUIT]

Greg: Carlos, $6,000 for you. You're going to the Bonus Round with $7,150! 

[Applause]

Greg: Andre, you played a good game. You're going home with $3,550. We thank you for playing. Come on down, Carlos! 

[He and Carlos go to the Bonus Round where Eris awaits]

Eris: Great game, Carlos! 

Greg: All right, Carlos. You know what Eris has in her hands. A tray filled with envelopes. Each of them range from a double to a quadruple. Only one of them has the big 10. Find it and your winnings could increase to $70,000. Good luck.

[Carlos takes an envelope off the tray]

Eris: Good luck! [leaves]

Greg: All right, Carlos. Let's work on this bonus puzzle.

Jon: The category is Thing.

[_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _]

Greg: R-S-T-L-N-E. Jon?

[_ L _ _ E R
_ _ _ N _]

Greg: All right, Carlos. Three consonants and a vowel.

Carlos: C-P-D-O.

Greg: Okay.

[P L _ _ E R
P _ _ N O]

Greg: Well you got some help here. We're gonna give you ten seconds to solve the puzzle. Studio audience, no help from you. He must do this on his own. 

[The timer is set at ten seconds]

Greg: Talk it out. Good luck.

Carlos: Player Piano?

Greg: YES!

[Cheers and applause]

[PLAYER
PIANO]

Greg: Okay, Carlos! You know what to do!

Carlos: [opens the envelope] Triple!

[Applause]

Eris: Carlos, well done! You have tripled your earnings to $21,450! Meow!

Greg: And that's only the beginning. You are now eligible to play for...!

Eris: [enters with Aoi, Kio, and Manami] A brand new car!

[Applause]

Greg: Each of these four lovely ladies plus Eris has a key. One of them will start what? Eris?


Eris: It's a Toyota Yaris!

[Cheers and applause]

Eris: This Toyota Yaris L features a 1.5 Liter 4-Cylinder Engine, Six-speed automatic transmission, a seven inch-touch screen display, Bluetooth pairing, and paint and fabric protection. It's the Toyota Yaris!

Greg: That car is worth $17,300. Carlos, I would ask you: Which of these girls has the key to that car?

Carlos: Kio?

Greg: Kio!

[Kio gives Carlos her key]

Greg: Okay, Carlos. On the count of three, push that button. If the alarm goes off, the car is yours. Are you ready, Carlos?

Carlos: I am. I need a car!

Greg: Jon, are you ready?

Jon: Yes!

Greg: Girls?

Girls: Yeah!

Greg: Audience?

Audience: YEAH!

Greg: Here we go!

[DRUMROLL!]

All: One....two....THREE!

[Carlos press the button and...]

[The car alarm goes off]

Jon and Greg: YEAH!!!

[WILD cheers and applause, Carlos jumps up and down and climbs up to the car as if he were winning a NASCAR race; balloons and confetti fall onto the stage]

All: [sings to the tune of Happy Birthday] Happy new car to you.
Happy new car to you.
Happy new car, dear Carlos.
Happy new car to you!

[Antonia gives Carlos an ACME License Plate Frame who then gets into the car]

Carlos: OH MY GOD!!!  This is the best day ever. I love you girls! [kisses Kio who blushes]

Greg: Wow! Carlos, you needed a car! Why?

Carlos: My car was stolen six weeks after I bought it. The cops never recovered it. I am so happy that I won a car.

Greg: That is terrific! Do you wanna know what your total is?

Carlos: Yes.

Greg: $38,750!

Carlos: Thank you! I love you guys! WHOOOOO!!!

Greg: What a great contestant he is. [to the viewers] That's all the time we have for today. Remember to donate to your local public television station!

Jon: 'Cause remember: Viewers Like You!

Greg: For those beautiful lovely girls, Eris, Kio, Aoi and Manami. This is Captain Greg Lee...

Jon: And Jonathan Mann saying keep on spinnin' and solvin'. And honey, TV is really worth watching. I'll be home eating a TV dinner with you. 

Greg and Jon: See you next time!

[Applause]

ACME WHEEL OF FORTUNE
Based on the game show created by
MERV GRIFFIN

All contestants have been briefed regarding
game rules prior to their appearance and must
meet eligibility requirements to receive
announced prizes.



Manami: Produced in New York City, ACME Wheel is a production of an elite unit known as ACME Crime Net. Vigilance, dedication, courage!

Aoi: Vigilance, dedication, courage!

Manami: No, really, what's with the title?