Rated TV-14 (DLSV)

Qoone: Don't forget to watch in a brightly-lit room, and don't sit too close to your screen. It's showtime! Meow!



Narrator: In New York City's fight against crime, the dedicated detectives who pursue the most vicious criminals are members of an elite unit known as ACME Crime Net.

[Clips from the previous side-fic are shown]

[Catian Mothership, Saturday, December 22nd, 1:47pm (EST)]

Qoone: Melwin, I want you and Dr. Durel to analyze the data and tell me all there is to know about that giant robot and that spike.

Melwin and Durel: Yes, ma'am!

[They exit the bridge]

Eris: Captain Qoone, forgive me if I'm out of line, but you seem to be losing it.

Qoone: You're right, Eris. You are out of line.

Kio: Captain, I'm afraid I have to agree with Eris.

Manami: Me, too.

Aoi: I'm with them.

Antonia: Same here.

[Qoone stares at the helmet-less Cosmo Cats, who just stand there]

Qoone: Cosmo Cats, when I told you of the attack on my hometown 15 years ago, I didn't tell you the whole story. Chayka was right. A family has no secrets.

[She has flashbacks of 15 years ago]

Qoone: In the midst of the raging battle, I was ambushed by Golimare's soldiers. Then my old mate Saura jumped in and saved me, but by the time he took out the soldiers, Golimare struck him down, and I fainted dead away from the shock. When I came to, Saura was dead.

[Cut back to the present]

Qoone: If I hadn't been ambushed, he'd still be alive, as would my town.

Eris: Captain, you can't blame yourself.

Manami: You were ambushed.

Aoi: You had your platoon to protect.

Antonia: Your home was on the line.

Kio: Golimare was clearly setting a trap.

Qoone: Knowing all that doesn't stop my nightmares.

[Graniteville Quarry Park, 2:13pm]

[Chayka is chained to a pole tightly; Golimare snickers before her]

Chayka: Listen up, you overgrown fleabag. When Qoone gets here, you'll be in deep sh*t.

Golimare: [scoffs] That will be the day. She failed to save her mate. It is doubtful she will come for you, though she may send her Cosmo Cats. [laughs]

[Later, back on the mothership, Melwin turns on her tablet and shows live footage of the robot Rerir inserting spikes on numerous locations]

Melwin: When Durel and I ran a scan on the city, I found that the robot Rerir is piloted by Dogishuan Assistroids, and that it had been placing energy spikes into the ground and activating them.

Durel: First Harlem, then Morningside Heights, East Harlem, Upper West, and Upper East. After analyzing the spikes, I suspected them to be kaon spikes. On their own, they're harmless, unless pulled from the ground before deactivating them.

Eris: [to Qoone] That explains why you bailed us out.

Qoone: Mm-hmm.

Melwin: But should a graviton spike be placed in Central Park and then activated, we could be looking at high-level seismic activity that could destroy the whole city.

Eris: Well, I say we give Golimare a little destruction of his own.

Qoone: Patience, Eris. If I know Golimare, if we act too soon, we could fall into his trap.

Kio: So we just play another waiting game?

Qoone: That, too, could be a trap.

[Sadakichi, Chiba, Nakamura, and Yun-Fat enter]

Kio: Hey, you guys. Any sign of Chayka?

[The four Assistroids hold up signs: "No, but he left us this."]

[Sadakichi hands Qoone another message orb; Qoone activates it, revealing a holographic message from Golimare]

Golimare: Once again, Captain Qoone, I have taken something of yours.

[He reveals the captive Chayka, who has a mysterious mechanical belt wrapped around her waist]

Qoone: [gasps] Chayka! Golimare, you'll pay for this!

Golimare: Come to Graniteville Quarry Park alone. You have until 3:00! [laughs]

Chayka: It's a trap, Qoone! Don't listen to him!

[Westcott appears on the hologram]

Westcott: Yes, Qoone. I assure you, it is a trap.

Qoone: Westcott! I should've known you'd team up with my greatest enemy!

Westcott: 3:00, or the belt around Chayka's waist will activate and scatter her molecules, utterly vaporizing her.

Chayka: Qoone!

[The message ends]

Qoone: All right, troops! It's time!

Eris: Captain, I think Kio and I should go and save Chayka while Manami leads the others in stopping the last spike from being planted.

Manami: I agree, ma'am.

Qoone: Well-formulated plan, Eris, but not the one we'll employ. Eris, I want you and the other Cosmo Cats to take the Cosmo MagnaDroid to make sure the last spike is not secured.

Aoi: But what about Chayka?

Antonia: We can't just leave her with Golimare.

Kio: The first rule of ACME Crime Net: Never leave a cadet behind.

Qoone: I appreciate your concern, but orders are orders!

Eris: Then send the others to stop the spike. I'll go after Chayka alone.

Qoone: Do not challenge my order, Eris! Go!

Eris: Yes, ma'am!

[She and the other four grab their helmets]

Eris: Back to action!

[The Cosmo Cats don their helmets and take off]

[Qoone sighs, then heads for her quarters; she opens her closet, reaches in, and pulls out a special sword]

Qoone: [in her mind] I told myself I would never use this again. But given the circumstances now, I have no choice.

[She then heads for Chayka's room and finds an old photo of herself and Chayka on her desk]

Qoone: Chayka...

[She then sees the box Chayka tried to give her before, opens it, and takes out its contents]

Qoone: For Chayka. For my fellow townspeople.

[Central Park, 2:44pm]

[The Cosmo MagnaShip, Eris' ship, and CatiEarth One fly into the scene and combine to from the Cosmo MagnaDroid; it faces Rerir, who carries the graviton spike]

Eris: You guys ready for this?!

Aoi: Right!

Manami: All the way!

Antonia: I'm in!

Kio: Let's go for it!

[Both giant mecha fight; after a minute or two, Rerir scoops up the MagnaDroid and flips it on its back]

[Graniteville Quarry Park, 2:55pm]

[Back at where Chayka is confined, Chayka awakens, surrounded by a forcefield; she struggles to free herself]

[Outside, Qoone enters the park, carrying her sword; she sees Golimare's ship straight ahead]

Qoone: I have arrived, Golimare! I've come alone as you requested! I've come to avenge the honor and spirit of my hometown! My fallen platoon! My mate! Now, show yourself, or admit you're a coward!

[Golimare appears before her]

Golimare: You disappoint me, Qoone. I was certain you would not show up.

Qoone: I've come for my friend, and for your head.

Golimare: I suggest we start this party. Her time is limited. You may have survived my onslaught 15 years ago on Catia, but seeing as you have no home planet advantage here, I will see to it that you die! Bandersnatch!

[A massive army of Bandersnatch units appears; Westcott watches the fight from afar]

Westcott: [laughs] Qoone doesn't stand a chance against an army this big.

Golimare: I will fight you, Qoone, but only if you get through all 100 of these units first.

Qoone: That's what I intend to do!

[She whips out a brand-new violet-colored Cosmo Pendant]

Qoone: Thank you, Chayka.

[She raises her pendant to the sky]

Qoone: Cosmo Power!

[She gets suited up into a violet spandex suit with cougar claws and a tail]

Qoone: With the cunning of the mighty cougar! Cosmo Violet!

Golimare: What?! A Cosmo Cat?!

Qoone: You have taken what was dearest to me, Golimare, but it only made me stronger!

[She energizes her sword]

Qoone: Cougar Saber! With this, the truest sword of Catia, I will vanquish all evil!

[She charges at the oncoming Bandersnatch army and strikes them in the emblem on their midsections, vaporizing one by one, until she's down to 45]

Qoone: Is this all you've got, Golimare?!

[She vaporizes another 17, then leaps toward the other 28]

Qoone: Who's next?!

[Half of the army charges at her from behind, but she strikes each of them one by one on their midsections; all remaining Bandersnatch engulf in a massive explosion]

Qoone: You and me, Golimare.

Golimare: [laughs] To the finish!

Qoone: This is for my comrades back home!

[Both shout as they charge at each other and fight over the next minute]

[Back at Central Park, Rerir fires phasers from its chest at the Cosmo MagnaDroid, hitting it; the MagnaDroid hits the ground and struggles to get back on its feet]

Eris: Cosmo MagnaDroid sabers!

[The MagnaDroid gets equipped with its sabers]

Eris: Come on, guys! We gotta hold our position!

Other four Cosmo Cats: Roger!

[The MagnaDroid slowly marches toward Rerir]

[Back at Graniteville Quarry Park, the fight between Qoone and Golimare continues, until Qoone strikes him twice with her saber, then points it at his face, stopping him in his tracks]

Qoone: The battle is over, Golimare! You've lost!

Golimare: Not quite, Qoone. That was just the first round. Do you see my ship?

[The side door of the ship opens, revealing the captive Chayka]

Qoone: Chayka!

Chayka: Get him, Qoone!

[Qoone and Golimare fight again]

Chayka: I know you can beat him, Qoone. Do it for our hometowns.

[Golimare whips out his own sword strikes Qoone in the right shoulder]

Golimare: A new battlefield, but the same losing battle. You cannot defeat an overlord! You would think that the captain of the Catian Mothership would outclass me.

[He focuses his energy into his sword and fires it at Qoone, hitting her]

Golimare: As was the case 15 years ago, you lose the planet, you lose a loved one, and you are about to lose your Cosmo Cats to my Rerir robot! Once again, you are at my mercy!

Qoone: [grips her saber] This is not the end, Golimare! As long as I can still breathe, I won't give up!

Golimare: Now that is easily stoppable.

Qoone: This battle is to be your last!

Golimare: Big words from a helpless kitten who cannot save herself or her friend.

Qoone: I will not be defeated! Not by a sick monster like you! Give me everything you've got!

Golimare: Gladly.

[Both stare at each other and hold their positions for 10 seconds, all while the countdown clock on Chayka's belt is down to less than 30 seconds; Chayka is in tears]

[Back in Central Park, the Cosmo MagnaDroid powers up its sabers]

Eris: For the city, guys!

[All five Cosmo Cats let out a loud battle cry as the MagnaDroid charges at Rerir, who fires again, but the MagnaDroid is not even scratched]

Cosmo Cats: VICTORY STRIKE!!!

[The MagnaDroid performs a double cross cut w/its sabers, striking Rerir and shattering its last spike; inside its cockpit, the controls explode in the Dogishuan Assistroids' faces; Rerir falls to the ground, and a massive explosion is shown; after the smoke clears, every spike Rerir ever placed dissolves into dust]

[Back at Graniteville Quarry Park, Qoone charges at Golimare with her saber]

Golimare: FIRE!

[He fires a massive blast from his sword at Qoone]

Chayka: QOONE!!

[Qoone intercepts the blast with her saber, then redirects it at the forcefield containing Chayka, vaporizing it; the blast then strikes Chayka's belt, short-circuiting it and stopping its countdown clock at only one second; Chayka jumps out of the ship]

Golimare: I cannot believe it! How is this possible?!

Qoone: It's called justice. That's how.

[She charges at Golimare again, then strikes him with her saber repeatedly]

Qoone: You destroyed my old hometown on Catia!

[She strikes Golimare again]

Qoone: You killed my whole platoon!

[She strikes Golimare again]

Qoone: You murdered my mate Saura!

[With all her might, she impales Golimare through the midsection with her saber, then pulls it back]

Qoone: But now, your time of judgment has come!

[The Cosmo MagnaDroid flies into the scene; the Cosmo Cats jump out of the cockpit and join Chayka]

Chayka: Guys, you won't believe this! Check it out!

[She turns everyone's attention to Qoone]

Eris: Chayka, is that...?!

Chayka: Mm-hmm!

Kio: All right, Captain Qoone!

Golimare: They survived?! But that means...!

Eris: Your plan to level the city with those energy spikes failed, Golimare. As soon as the graviton spike was destroyed, the other five spikes disappeared.

Golimare: And my Assistroids?

Manami: They're junkyard fodder now.

Aoi: Oh, and so's your ship.

Golimare: Huh?

[He turns around to find the Cosmo MagnaDroid crushing his ship to pieces with its right foot]

Golimare: [growls] You will pay! All of you!

Qoone: Cougar Saber!

[Her saber energizes to the max; she becomes surrounded by flames as she charges at Golimare]

Qoone: Catian Blitz!

[She bisects Golimare w/her saber; Golimare screams]

Golimare: NO! Curse you, Catians! CURSE YOU, COSMO CATS!!!

[He engulfs in a massive explosion; after the smoke clears, Golimare is gone, for good]

Qoone: [re-sheaths her saber] Justice prevails once again. Saura, you can rest in peace now.

Chayka: Way to go, Qoone.

[Qoone approaches the other Cosmo Cats; all six remove their helmets]

Qoone: Cosmo Cats, congratulations on another job well done.

Eris: We should say the same to you, Captain Qoone. You finally got revenge for your hometown and your team. Not to mention Saura.

Kio: It's nice to have you as part of the team.

Qoone: I vow, from this day on, to crush any and all evil, no matter what. And with you guys by my side, we can achieve anything.

[All six bump fists]

Qoone: Cosmo Cats, mission complete! Meow!

[Westcott has seen it all; he clenches his fist]

Westcott: Golimare, you have failed me. You said you would destroy the Cosmo Cats, but instead, you instigated the arrival of the sixth Cosmo Cat. But I'll get ACME yet, or my name isn't Isaac Westcott.

[He vanishes]

[Elsewhere in the city, Harry and Noah look on at the remains of Rerir]

Harry: Well, so much for your plan to level the city.

Noah: Those were Golimare's spikes, not mine.

Harry: He didn't know what to do with them until you made that suggestion.

Noah: Let's just go home. We've got more robots and weapons to build.

[They leave the scene]

[Back on board the Nickar, Delta and Epsilon receive a transmission from the Xia twins]

Yu Fan: You're kidding me. You're reincarnated from innocent youths?

Delta: Yes, but we can't let anyone know we found out.

Epsilon: Westcott and LN will destroy us. That's why we have to keep working for them until they achieve their goal.

Yu Lan: But what can you do when you've done that?

Delta: Just kill him.

Yu Lan: Easier said than done. Knowing Westcott, he'll dispose of you before he's done.

Yu Fan: That's why I recommend you two start going AWOL.

Delta: We can't. After what he did to Owen and Savage, we can't take any chances.

Epsilon: Westcott will stop at nothing to get what he wants, and he fears those who go AWOL will leak his secrets.

Yu Lan: At this point, there's no choice. You must leave the Nickar.

Yu Fan: Besides, LN told us that the Spirit Soldiers found out about your secret before Mu was destroyed. That's why Westcott couldn't send you out into the field against them. You know, my sister and I want Westcott dead as much as you do. That's why we'll carry out his orders in your stead.

Delta: But you two are professional assassins.

Yu Lan: Only because Amalgam destroyed our town in our dimension. Once Westcott's mission is complete, we'll dispose of him, then start over as normal twins in New York.

Yu Fan: Don't worry. We can handle them.

Delta: Very well. We'll find a way out. Thank you, girls.

[The twins nod; the transmission ends]

Delta: Come, Epsilon. It's time we took our leave.

Epsilon: Yes, sis.

[Unknown to them, LN passes by and suddenly overhears them]

Epsilon: Never again will I lift a finger for that sick bastard or that lousy bitch LN.

Delta: Nor will I.

LN: [approaches] Would you mind repeating that, please?

Epsilon: I just said "never again will I lift a finger for that sick bastard or that lousy bitch LN"... [turns to see LN]

Delta: LN!

LN: That's Lady lousy bitch LN to you, you backstabbers!

Epsilon: We know the truth about what Westcott did to us in our old lives.

Delta: We were victims of the first spatial quake. Why did he choose us as his generals? No, not generals. Slaves!

LN: Prescott told him about your martial arts skills and had his eyes on you for years, so he ordered Westcott to reincarnate you two and wipe your memories clean. That way, you'd always obey us. That is, until now.

Delta: Listen, LN. You've given us enough sh*t, pinning all your failures entirely on us. You and Westcott.

Epsilon: And if you plan on beating us up again, you've got another thing coming.

[She and Delta whip out their staffs]

LN: [whips out her sword] You should learn to respect your superiors!

Delta: Respect an abusive bitch like you and a control freak like Westcott? Never!

[She and Epsilon charge at LN with all their might; LN powers up her sword]

LN: Farewell, traitors.

[The two Demonoid sisters raise their staffs, and LN is just about to swing her sword, when...]

Ellen: No! Leave them alone! They've had enough of you!

[LN suddenly stops and drops her sword just as Delta and Epsilon strike her savagely, then fire their Demonoid Cannons at her, electrifying her]

LN: [falls to the ground] Damn you!

Delta: Let's get outta here!

[She and Epsilon vanish]

LN: Master, why did you pick now of all times to leave the sub?

[Westcott reappears]

Westcott: LN, what's happened to you?

LN: They... They got away.

Westcott: Who?

LN: Their secret... They found-- Initiating emergency reboot.

[She shuts down; Owen and Ewan approach]

Owen: What happened here?

Westcott: You two, take LN to the lab and have her repaired.

Ewan: Yes, sir.

[He and Owen grab LN and take her away]

Westcott: What has she been doing while I was gone?

[132 Madison Street, 5:44pm]

[Eris' group is gathered for dinner; Eris proposes a toast]

Eris: A toast to the downfall of the Dogishuan overlord and the rise of the sixth Cosmo Cat. Captain Qoone, we hope that in the battles to come, you grow stronger. You never can tell with the Demonoids. Here's to Captain Qoone.

[Everyone else raises their glasses]

Everyone else: To Captain Qoone.

Qoone: Thank you, everybody. And especially you, Chayka.

Chayka: Hmm?

Qoone: You called me out to be who I really am. Thanks for being there when I wasn't.

Chayka: Oh, Qoone.

[They embrace]


[Clips from the next side-fic are shown]

Qoone: Well, our first arc is over now.

Eris: That's too bad, though. Only seven episodes?

Kio: Well, the fans wanna see more of the Spirit Soldiers. After all, they're the ones the Demonoids want.

Manami: But the next episode is actually another Crystal Exceed show.

Aoi: And since when does Imari mix Ranger colors?

Antonia: I don't know, but it does look festive.

Qoone: Next time on ACME Crime Net: Holiday Uproar. Vigilance, dedication, courage!

Last edited by TVLubber (11/29/2023 8:50 pm)