Rated TV-14 (DLSV)

Melwin: Hi, everyone! It's almost time for the show! Remember to turn on some lights in the room and sit as far from the monitor as you can. MEOW!



Narrator: In New York City's fight against crime, the dedicated detectives who pursue the most vicious criminals are members of an elite unit known as ACME Crime Net.

[Cosmo MagnaShip, Wednesday, December 4th, 8:20am]

[In the holodeck, the seven Cosmo Cats fight a group of Bandersnatch 2.0 units with their weapons]

Qoone: One at a time, team!

Eris: Aye-aye, Captain Boone! Cosmo Hammer!

Aoi: Cosmo Bazooka!

Manami: Cosmo Revolver!

Antonia: Cosmo Grappler!

Kio: Cosmo Blade!

Yuya: Cosmo Lance!

Qoone: Cougar Saber!

[One by one, they strike the Bandersnatch with their weapons]

Eris: Let's finish this! [presses 1 on her Cosmo Brace] Tiger Chop!

[She jumps up and karate-chops each unit with her glowing right hand, destroying them]

Qoone: Nice work, Eris! That wraps up our workout.

Computer: Simulation terminated.

[The simulation ends; the Cosmo Cats remove their helmets]

Yuya: I never knew how taxing these morning workouts could be.

Eris: [pats Yuya on the head] You'll get the hang of things, Yuya. These workouts may be strenuous, but they also improve our form on the battlefield.

Kio: [sighs] I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving.

Yuya: Aw, man! Thanks for reminding me, Kio! I'm supposed to meet Zuzu for brunch!

Aoi: At what time, and where?

Yuya: 8:30 at the Manhattan Diner! She's not gonna be happy if I'm late.

Qoone: Melwin can get you there. She's almost done tuning up my Cougar Cycle. [to the others] You kids head downstairs for breakfast. I'll catch up.

Manami: 'Kay!

Antonia: Sophie's got a veritable breakfast smorgasbord in the making.

[In docking bay B, Melwin has just finished tuning up the Cougar Cycle when Qoone and Yuya arrive]

Melwin: Just in time, Captain. Your Cougar Cycle is in tip-top shape.

Qoone: Thanks, but I was wondering if you could take Yuya to the Manhattan Diner in this. I'd take him myself, but I'm already exhausted from our workout and need to eat.

Melwin: Sure! I can get him there lickety-split. Hop aboard, Yuya.

Yuya: Thanks, Melwin. [dons his helmet]

[Melwin puts on an air helmet; she and Yuya hop aboard the Cougar Cycle]

Melwin: Open docking bay!

[The doors slide open]

Qoone: Safe trip!

[Melwin and Yuya give her a thumbs-up signal and take off back down to Earth; the doors slide shut]

Qoone: Now for breakfast!

[She sets off]

[Broadway, 8:29am]

[Zuzu looks at her watch]

Zuzu: Just one more minute, Yuya. You can make it.

[She suddenly notices Melwin and Yuya (now in civilian form) hovering into the scene on Qoone's Cougar Cycle; as they land, Yuya steps off]

Melwin: Morning, Zuzu!

Zuzu: [sighs] Thanks, Melwin. Right on time, Yuya.

Yuya: Sorry I made you worry. I had a training exercise with the other Cosmo Cats.

Zuzu: As long as you're on time, that's all that matters.

Melwin: I hope you don't mind if I step in for a bit. I gotta get pick up a doggy bag.

Zuzu: No, not at all.

[The three enter]

Zuzu: Two, please.

Melwin: I'm just getting something to go.

[The host leads Yuya and Zuzu to a booth while Melwin approaches the counter, where Hunter is speaking to two police officers]

Hunter: It was a big black truck. A 2012 Ram 2500 quad cab.

Officer A: And you think someone stole it around 7:30 this morning?

Hunter: Fellas, I don't think. I know. They took the key.

Officer B: Sorry, Hunter. We'll do our best to find it.

[The two cops exit; unknown to them, a young man and his two male friends at a table in the corner notice them leaving the diner]

Rich: Them cops are clueless.

Wally: None the wiser.

Damien: [takes a sip of his OJ] The junk we get from that cook's truck will make us a fortune.

Rich: Yeah. Right.

Melwin: [approaches the counter] Hey, Hunter. What's the problem?

Hunter: Some hooligan took the key to my truck and drove off with it. I didn't notice the key was gone until I saw the truck pull out. I never caught a glimpse of the thief.

Melwin: Wow, that's messed up. Anyway, can I get French toast to go? Plain, please?

Hunter: Roger that, Melwin. Be with you in a jiffy. [heads back into the kitchen]

Clerk: [inputs the total] Okay. That comes to $11.39.

[Melwin hands him $12; the clerk hands her a receipt ad 61 cents]

Clerk: Hunter will be with you in a minute. He's quite a quick cook.

Hunter: [comes out with packaged French toast] That, and the last person who ordered this cancelled at the last minute. [hands it to Melwin] Here you go.

Melwin: Thanks, Hunter.

[The three men in the corner notice her]

Wally: Rich, check that kid out.

Damien: The one who looks like he's got cat ears.

[Rich stares at Melwin]

Rich: Hmm... There's somethin' about that little guy. [whistles] Hey, kid, c'mere.

[Melwin approaches the three men]

Melwin: Yes, sir?

Rich: How would you like to join our group?

Melwin: What group?

Rich: You see, my buddies and I-- We work for the department of car stereo repair.

Melwin: I never heard of them.

Rich: That's 'cause we're a very small group, and completely short-handed. You into repairs?

Melwin: Yeah. I help with the tinkering on my--

Rich: You're hired. C'mon, guys. Follow me, kid.

[Melwin follows the trio outside to a parked car]

Damien: [searches his pockets] Aw, come on, man!

Melwin: What's the matter?

Damien: I left my key in that car.

Rich: Oh, nice goin', pinhead.

Melwin: Easy with the name-calling. Maybe I can help.

[She presses her hands against a window; she gently forces the window down, then unlocks the door and opens it]

Wally: Damn! How'd you do that, kid?!

Melwin: Just gotta know your automobiles.

Rich: And you sure do know 'em. Name's Rich. This is Wally and Damien. What's say you hang out with us? We could show you around our neck of the woods and some stuff we gotta do.

Melwin: Sounds good. I'm Melwin, by the way.

[They shake hands]

Rich: Hop in, Melwin.

[All four get in the car; Damien puts the key in the ignition and starts the car; they drive off just as a customer comes out of the diner]

Customer: Hey! That's my car! Come back!

[Inside the car, Melwin eats her French toast]

Melwin: The diner makes good French toast. You guys want some?

Rich: No, thanks, Mel. Just ate.

Damien: Can't eat while I'm driving. 'Sides, I'm on a diet.

Wally: Samesies.

Rich: Yo, Mel, that hairstyle-- You almost look like a cat. Plus, you have a tail prop stickin' out.

Melwin: Well, about that, Rich, you see, I'm kind of attached to it.

Rich: [snickers] Yeah, right. [looks ahead; quietly] Yo, there's Monty. Slow down, Damien.

[On West 94th Street, the car slows down; another young man with baggy pants approaches an elderly woman carrying a purse; he swipes it; Melwin notices the thievery]

Melwin: That guy just took that woman's purse! Stay here, guys! I'll stop him!

[She leaps out of the car and blocks Monty's path; she and Monty wrestle over the purse]

Monty: Let go, kid!

Melwin: After you let go of this purse!

Monty: Forget it!

[Suddenly, a police officer rushes up to the two]

Cop: That's far enough!

[He grabs Monty; Melwin swipes the woman's purse from him]

Melwin: Take him away, officer.

Cop: Thanks, kid.

[He takes Monty away; the elderly woman approaches Melwin with an embrace]

Melwin: [hands the woman back her purse] Here.

Woman: Thank you. You deserve a reward.

Melwin: Oh, no, ma'am. You don't owe me anything. Helping you is a reward in itself. Have a good day.

[She returns to the car and buckles up]

Melwin: If there's one thing I won't tolerate, it's thievery.

Rich: Right... Go, Dame.

[Damien starts the car; they drive off]

[Neo-DEM HQ, 9:08am]

[A Demonoid with lightning bolts for horns and long, sharp claws stands before Westcott and Nervadrone]

Westcott: Voltoid, your work in Tokyo was quite impressive, absorbing much of its energy supply. It's too bad that those Saviors from Akane Academy took it all away from you before I called you back here.

Voltoid: I'll finish in New York what I started in Tokyo, and once I'm fully charged, I'll annihilate ACME Crime Net until the Spirit Soldiers bend to your will!

Westcott: See that you do.

[Voltoid bows respectfully and vanishes]

[Astoria CC 1 and 2, Queens, NY, 9:19am]

Voltoid: Now to feed upon some high voltage!

[Using his electrifying claws, he absorbs electricity; unknown to him, the thieves are close by; Melwin notices from inside the stolen car]

Melwin: Damien, pull over!

Damien: Why?

Melwin: This is an emergency!

[Damien pulls over; Melwin exits the vehicle and approaches the power plant; she takes a photo of the license plate]

Melwin: Sorry, fellas.

Damien: Need a paw, kid?

Rich: Let him be, Dame. We got business of our own to deal with.

[At the plant, Melwin sneaks around until she finds Voltoid feeding upon the energy supply]

Melwin: [whips out her gun] Time for some action. [points her gun at Voltoid] FREEZE!!

Voltoid: [stops] Huh? Oh, it's one of those Catians. Better be careful, 'cause I've got sharp fuse when I'm all charged up!

Melwin: Let's see how you fare against a non-Cosmo Cat! [hisses]

[She and Voltoid engage in combat over the next few minutes]

Voltoid: Damn, she's good!

Melwin: I got more if you want 'em, Demonoid!

Voltoid: That's Voltoid to you, kitty!

[Melwin jumps up and lunges at Voltoid, scratching him with all her might]

Melwin: Had enough?! Or you thirsty for more?!

Voltoid: I'll be back! [vanishes]

Melwin: [taps her bell] Captain Qoone, I just had a run-in with a Demonoid at a power plant in Astoria.

Qoone: I'll have Chayka and the others keep an eye on him. But where have you been?

Melwin: I'll explain later. I've got more work to do.

Qoone: Okay, but be careful. Qoone out.

[Later, Melwin, riding Qoone's Cougar Cycle, stops in front of the East Coast Auto Salvage junkyard where the stolen car is parked outside]

Melwin: Perfect.

[She gets off the cycle; the cycle transports out; Melwin enters the junkyard and finds the three thieves about to unload the seats from Hunter's stolen truck; she eyes the license plate number: HCA-7835]

Melwin: [internally] That's Hunter's truck!

[The thieves notice Melwin]

Wally: Hey, Melwin! What kept you?

Melwin: Guys, that's Hunter's missing truck!

Rich: Oh, yeah, that's right. He loaned it to us, key and all. Permanently.

[Melwin notices stacks of already-stripped automobiles]

Melwin: It was you three all along! You stole the truck! You stole all these cars!

Rich: What's it to you?

Melwin: [scoffs] I thought you were friendly, Rich. Wally? Damien?

Damien: Well, the thing is,...

Wally: Look, Melwin, we...

Rich: You two ain't got nothin' to say.

Melwin: I'm calling the police. These cars are all going back to their rightful owners.

Rich: You're crazy, little dude.

Melwin: "Little dude"? How can you not realize that I'm a girl?!

Rich: A GIRL?!

Damien: A girl?

Wally: Oh, sorry, kid. I'd no idea.

Rich: You looked like a guy to me! Your hair is short, and you're flat as a pancake.

Damien: Richie, I wouldn't--!

[Melwin hisses ferociously, intimidating Rich and scaring him out of the junkyard]

Melwin: Flat as a pancake, my ass!

Wally: Damn, Mel! Didn't think you had actual animal instincts.

Damien: You're amazing.

Melwin: Ah, it's just a knack.

[Outside the junkyard, Rich is about to make his getaway, when suddenly, Voltoid appears, blocking his path]

Voltoid: BOO!

Rich: [screams] A killer robot!

Voltoid: [grabs Rich] Don't bother resisting, you cowardly car thief!

[He tosses Rich to the ground; Rich tries to scurry away, but Voltoid grabs him again, this time, lifting him up]

Rich: Lemme go, you ugly robot!

[Back in the junkyard, Melwin, Damien, and Wally continue their conversation]

Wally: So that's how Rich dragged us into jacking cars to sell for junk.

Damien: We didn't want to, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Besides, we needed jobs.

Melwin: I'll talk to Hunter and his boss about giving you jobs if you agree to rat on Rich and help me return all these cars.

Wally: Done deal.

[They suddenly hear Rich screaming]

Damien: That doesn't sound good.

[He and Wally exit the junkyard and find Rich under attack by Voltoid]

Rich: Put me down, damn it!

Damien: Isn't that one of those Demonoids?

Wally: Hey, you! Put him down!

Voltoid: Gladly!

[He tosses Rich toward the other two, who catch him]

Voltoid: [laughs] Boy, are you fellas in for a real shock!

[Suddenly, Melwin bursts out of the junkyard, jumps up, and kicks Voltoid to the ground]

Melwin: We meet again, Voltoid!

Voltoid: You!

Melwin: You want these three? You gotta go through me first.

Voltoid: Glad to oblige! It is on, bitch!

[He and Melwin fight again]

Rich: I'm outta here!

[He rushes out of sight; Damien and Wally try to follow him, but notice Melwin still fighting against Voltoid]

Wally: I'm not gonna let that Demonoid get the better of this kid.

Damien: Neither am I. C'mon. I got an idea.

[They rush back into the junkyard and grab a pair of empty trash receptacles; they head back to the scene of the fight, where Voltoid knocks Melwin to the ground]

Voltoid: Now we're even! Say goodbye, cat!

[Suddenly, Damien and Wally throw their trash receptacles at him, knocking him to the ground; the two help Melwin back up]

Damien: You okay, Mel?

Melwin: Yeah. Thanks, fellas. Come on. Let's get to safety.

[They head back into the junkyard; Voltoid gets back on his feet and looks around]

Voltoid: Hey, where'd they go? [growls] They can't get away that easily!

[Suddenly, the Cosmo Cats (minus Violet) teleport into the scene]

Eris: HALT! In the name of the law!

Voltoid: Oh, it's the Cosmo Cats. How'd you find me?

Yuya: The mothership's crew pinpointed your location.

Manami: Plus, Melwin sent that text about a trio of thieves tricking her into stealing and stripping cars.

Aoi: Violet is already pursuing the thieves' leader.

Kio: In the meantime, we've got you.

Antonia: Now, surrender!

Voltoid: Never!

Eris: Don't say we didn't warn you! C'mon, guys!

[All six fight Voltoid rigorously; from the junkyard, Melwin, Damien, and Wally watch the fight]

Damien: Nice goin', Melwin. Taking advantage of Rich's brief absence to report him to the Cosmo Cats.

Wally: Who are you, really?

Melwin: [reveals her badges] Executive Officer Melwin, Catian Mothership, and NYPD third-grade Detective. The Cosmo Cats are with NYPD, as well.

Wally: Awesome!

Melwin: I just hope you guys learned something from all this.

Damien: Yeah, the hard way.

[Meanwhile, not far away, Rich, exhausted, approaches a nearby sports car; he reaches into his jacket for his tools and prepares to pry it open, when suddenly, Cosmo Violet taps his shoulder]

Qoone: Pardon me, sir.

Rich: Not now. I'm in the middle of-- [turns around] Oh, a Cosmo Cat. Didn't expect to run into you. Uh, anything I can do for you?

Qoone: You can start by turning yourself in and showing us where you kept the stolen goods.

Rich: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to use this, but...

[He whips out a remote from his pocket and pushes the button; emerging from the ground is a giant enemy robot; Rich jumps into the cockpit]

Qoone: I'll bet this is Harry's doing!

Rich: [from the robot] Never heard of anyone by that name. The guy who sold it to me was mysterious and never mentioned his name.

Qoone: Well, I have my suspicions. Omega MagnaDroid!

[The Omega MagnaShip flies into the scene; Qoone jumps into the cockpit; the MagnaShip converts to MagnaDroid form and faces the enemy robot]

Rich: Bring it!

[Both mecha fight over the next minute]

[Back outside the junkyard, the other Cosmo Cats continue fighting against Voltoid]

Voltoid: [growls] I'm going back to the power plant! I'm still hungry!

Yuya: [charges at Voltoid with his lance] Oh, no, you're not!

[He stabs Voltoid in the midsection with his lance]

Yuya: Now, guys!

Eris: You heard him!

[She and the other four assume Cassiopeia formation; the jewels over their chests activate]

Eris, Aoi, Manami, Antonia, and Kio: Five-Star Finish: Cassiopeia!

[Their jewels laser beams that form the constellation Cassiopeia, which strikes Voltoid hard, electrifying him; Voltoid screams and engulfs in an explosion; one of his chips flies out]

Melwin: [whips out of the junkyard with her gun] I got this one!

[She fires upon the chip, shattering it to pieces]

Melwin: Another one bites the dust!

Eris: Nice work, Melwin.

Yuya: We'd better take out the other one before Westcott decides to make him grow.

[They rush up to Voltoid's remains and notice a massive puncture in the second chip]

Eris: Oh, my God! Yuya, that stab-- That was a one-in-a-million shot!

Manami: You totally nailed him!

Yuya: [laughs nervously] Oops.

Kio: "Oops"? Yuya, without either of his chips, Voltoid can't revive, and Westcott can't make him bigger. You saved the Cosmo MagnaDroid a great deal of energy!

Eris: See how all that working out with us pays off? [puts an arm around Yuya close to her breasts] I'm proud of you, Yuya.

Yuya: Aw, shucks, Eris. Thanks. Well, I'd better get back to my apartment. Zuzu and I have some Christmas shopping to do.

Eris: Okay. We'll signal if we need you again.

Yuya: Good luck, you guys.

[He transports out]

Melwin: I'm gonna help Damien and Wally return the stolen goods.

Kio: Roger that, Melwin.

[Melwin returns to the junkyard to help Damien and Wally with the cars]

Eris: Now to find Captain Qoone.

[Antonia looks behind and above and notices the battle between the Omega MagnaDroid and Rich's robot]

Antonia: I don't think we need to look far!

Manami: Maybe we shouldn't have let Yuya leave so soon.

Eris: We'll manage. Cosmo MagnaDroid!

[The Cosmo MagnaDroid charges into the scene and kicks the enemy robot to the ground; the five Cosmo Cats jump into the cockpit]

Eris: Hang on, Captain! We've got your back!

Qoone: Thanks, Cosmo Cats.

Rich: If you think you're gonna bring me in with those tin cans, you've got another thing coming!

[His robot shoots buzz saw blades from its shoulders at the MagnaDroids, hitting them]

Aoi: Why do these enemy robots always get cheesier battle after battle?

Manami: Guess common thieves aren't used to piloting these kinds of robots.

Eris: Enough chatter, guys! Aoi, the Bazooka Cell!

[Aoi inserts the Cosmo Bazooka Cell; outside, the Cosmo MagnaDroid gets equipped with its Cosmo Magna Bazooka]

Aoi: Magna Phaser!

[The bazooka fires a massive phaser at the enemy robot, hitting it hard]

Qoone: Omega Gatling Blasters!

[The Omega MagnaDroid fires its gatling blasters at the enemy robot, hitting it]

Rich: You jerk wads!

[His robot shoots its fists as projectiles at the MagnaDroids; the MegnaDroids punch them right back at the robot, hitting it hard]

Cosmo Cats: Omega Cosmo MagnaDroid formation!

[The two MagnaDroids combine to form the Omega Cosmo MagnaDroid]

Rich: Back the hell off!

[His robot charges rigorously at the Omega Cosmo MagnaDroid]

Qoone: Supersonic Mode!

[The MagnaDroid charges at the enemy robot at high speed and punches it rapidly]

Eris: [presses 2 on her Cosmo Brace] Let's finish this!

All Cosmo Cats: Phaser Frenzy!

[Outside, the MagnaDroid opens all of its cannon shields, then fires a massive barrage of phasers in the form of six animals (tiger, jaguar, cheetah, leopard, lion, and cougar) at the enemy robot, hitting it hard; inside its cockpit, sparks fly as the controls explode; Rich shields his eyes; outside, his robot engulfs in a massive explosion]

[After the smoke clears, Rich emerges from the debris, battered and bruised; NYPD squad cars arrive; the Cosmo Cats approach him]

Eris: So you stole the truck and tricked our executive officer into helping you steal.

Qoone: I'm quite appalled at your tomfoolery, Richard. Take the scoundrel away!

[The cops take Rich away]

Eris: Come on, guys. Let's get back to the junkyard. Melwin might need some extra pairs of hands.

[Later, the Cosmo Cats help Melwin, Wally and Damien bring all the cars to a series of tow trucks to be towed back to their rightful owners]

Kio: Well, only one vehicle left.

[He points to Hunter's truck, which is now back to the way it was before it was stolen]

Melwin: [hands Damien the truck key] Damien, why don't you do the honors of driving it to the diner?

Damien: Thanks. It's only fair that Wally and I be the ones to return it.

[Everyone hops into the truck]

[Manhattan Diner, 10:06am]

Hunter: Order up! [hits the bell]

[A waiter takes the meal to a customer; the manager enters the kitchen]

Liz: Hunter, could you come out for a sec? Someone would like a word with you.

Hunter: Sure, no problem, Liz.

[He steps out of the kitchen; Liz leads him to a table where Melwin and the two ex-thieves are waiting]

Hunter: Hey, Melwin. Who are these two?

Melwin: A couple of new friends.

Damien: Damien.

Wally: Wally.

Hunter: Hunter Steele. My boss said you wanted to see me.

Wally: We actually came to apologize.

Hunter: For what?

Damien: This.

[He hands Hunter the key to his truck]

Hunter: My key?

[He looks outside; his truck is parked out in front]

Hunter: My truck! But how'd you find--? [realizes] Oh. You were the thieves.

Damien: Well, the real thief was our ex-friend Rich. We only followed along out of fear.

Wally: And we needed to make a living. But boy, were we wrong.

Hunter: You know, fellas, any fool in this universe can make a mistake, but it takes a lot of guts and a big heart to own up to those mistakes.

Damien: It's too bad Rich never had any of that. That's why he's off to jail.

Wally: It was stupid of us, Hunter. Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?

Hunter: Liz, I think these guys deserve a real job.

Liz: You know, I do have a few openings. I already lost two of my waiters. I had to fire one yesterday, and the other came down with quitter-itis just this morning. Plus, Kurumi's having a hard time keeping up, and this being the holiday season, it might get worse. Tell me, boys, have you ever waited on tables before?

Wally: Not once.

Damien: But we'd love to learn.

Liz: [chuckles] I admire your determination. You're both hired. You guys can start right away, if you're interested.

Damien: That'd be great!

Wally: Yeah, thanks!

Hunter: C'mon. We'll show you around.

[He and Liz lead the two on a tour; Melwin smiles]

[FINAL NOTE:
Richard Schmidt was tried and convicted of multiple counts of grand larceny in the second degree, six counts of attempted murder in the first degree, and one count of scheme to defraud in the first degree. He was forced to pay the owners of the uninsured automobiles for any and all damages and was sentenced to 35 years to life in prison.
Montgomery Hammond was convicted of grand larceny in the fourth degree and sentenced to four years in prison.
No charges were filed against Wallace Edwards and Damien Brogan.]

[Post-credits scene; Riff and Raw approach the warehouse (which has a sign promoting the fundraiser on the front door)]

Riff: This is it, Raw. Our ticket to fame and fortune.

Raw: We'd better go in nicely to try and make it look like a legal entry.

Riff: Right. Right. And I know just the way. Just follow along.

[He rings the doorbell]



Alvin: Next time: Raid.

Last edited by TVLubber (4/22/2025 8:21 am)