Rated TV-14 (DLSV)

Qoone: Don't forget to watch the show in a brightly lit room, and don't sit too close to the monitor. Meow!



Narrator: In New York City's fight against crime, the dedicated detectives who pursue the most vicious criminals are members of an elite unit known as ACME Crime Net.

[Deep in outer space, a NASA satellite is struck down by a blast and crash-lands on a strange planet; the blasts came from an enemy spacecraft; on board the spacecraft are the Xia twins Yu Fan and Yu Lan]

Yu Lan: Target down.

Yu Fan: We should go down and make sure. Roget sent us on this mission for good reason. What if that satellite has convenient data?

Yu Lan: [sighs] Fine.

Yu Fan: [holds her sister's hand] I know. I hate him, too. That's why whatever data we find, we keep.

Yu Lan: [smiles] Big Sis, you're a genius. Very well.

[Outside, the ship takes off for the planet where the satellite crashed]

[New York City, Monday, June 24th, 2:33pm]

[On board the Cosmo MagnaShip, Eris' group, Capt. Qoone, and Chayka enter the bridge]

Luros: Emergency, Miss Eris! We've just received an encrypted transmission!

Antonia: Encrypted transmission? What's that mean?

Kio: It's top secret, Antonia.

Eris: Bring it up, Luros.

Luros: Roger!

[The transmission comes from Jim Bridenstine of NASA]

Bridenstine: Cosmo Cats, this is Jim Bridenstine. If you can hear me, NASA needs your help. One of our exploration satellites has been attacked. It crashed onto the planet Sharivan 8.

[Footage of the attack on the satellite is shown]

Bridenstine: This is the last feed we received. The information it has gathered is essential to the space program. If you get this message, please try to retrieve the discs inside. That would mean decades of study weren't for nothing. We currently have no available spacecraft to make this journey. You're our last hope.

[The transmission ends]

Aoi: You think maybe it's the Demonoids who attacked the satellite?

Manami: If so, why would they be after it?

Kio: Maybe it saw something while it was exploring. Something they don't want anyone to see.

Qoone: Well, whatever it is, we have to find it, get the discs, and return them to NASA.

Chayka: Set a course for Sharivan 8, full-speed ahead!

[Outside, the Cosmo MagnaShip detaches from the orbital elevator and takes off into space in camouflage mode; as the MagnaShip approaches Sharivan 8, unbeknownst to them, the twins' spacecraft slowly approaches the planet, as well]

Yu Lan: Do you get the feeling we're being followed?

Yu Fan: I'm not sure, but we should land, just in case.

[Their craft approaches the planet's gravitational pull, then lands safely in a deserted area; they come out of the craft]

Yu Lan: My God, it's so hot here.

Yu Fan: Well, Roget did tell us that this planet has an active volcano.

[They remove their jackets, leaving them in their sports bras]

Yu Fan: I also heard the volcano is home to a giant alien known as Moltengu.

Yu Lan: I'd hate to run into something like that.

Yu Fan: [whips out her scanner] Let's just find that satellite, get the discs, bring them to Roget, then get our asses home.

[They venture forth]

[Later, on board the MagnaShip (now landed), the gang is gathered on the bridge]

Qoone: All right, Cosmo Cats. Before we head out, I should warn you that the climate of Sharivan 8 is extremely hot. The average temperature is said to be over 120 degrees.

Manami: That's more than hot enough to cook a raw steak on the ground!

Qoone: Our suits won't protect us from the heat, so we have to wear minimal clothing.

[She taps her bell and changes into minimal clothing (violet sports bra and biker shorts); Eris does her same, except her clothes are in red]

Kio: [removes his black shirt] Might as well.

Manami: Kio, what the hell?! This is a fine time for--

Kio: Look, I didn't bring a spare shirt. I wasn't prepared for this. Plus, a black shirt absorbs the heat. I'm better off topless.

[Manami and Aoi sigh, then remove their shirts, revealing they are wearing yellow and blue sports bras (respectively)]

Aoi: This better be quick.

Eris: Antonia, why aren't you changing?

Antonia: Don't need to. A white shirt will reflect the heat and keep me cool.

Qoone: Chayka, I need you to mind the ship until we get back.

Chayka: Aye-aye, ma'am!

Qoone: [hands everyone a bottle of cold water] Let's move out, troops.

[They all head out, leaving Chayka on the bridge; as Eris whips out her scanner to scan for the satellite, the gang suddenly feels a large rumble]

Kio: What the hell was that?!

Qoone: [points west] Over there!

[The others look west and notice an active volcano just yards away]

Qoone: The planet's only active volcano.

Manami: If we don't find that satellite before it erupts, we're as good as melted.

[A loud roar is heard]

Eris: Let me guess-- The volcano has a resident?

Qoone: It's Moltengu, the only inhabitant of this planet, and he's incredibly dangerous. That's why the Galactic Sentient Federation placed Sharivan 8 on the list of the 10 most dangerous planets in the universe.

Aoi: Eris, that scanner had better pick up that satellite, and fast!

Eris: Hold on. I got a lock. Follow me!

[They rush up to the skeletal remains of a dead creature; Eris' scanner beeps erratically; Antonia notices a mechanical piece on the ground beside the skeleton]

Antonia: [grabs the piece] Guys, I think we got a clue.

Kio: If it's a piece of the satellite, we're pretty close. Come on!

[He leads the gang head further down until they reach the downed NASA satellite]

Eris: This is it, guys!

Aoi: [inputs the ejection code] Just that we need.

[The disc drive tray opens up, revealing six discs; Qoone grabs them]

Qoone: Let's go before Moltengu comes after us.

[They rush out, until they hear a voice]

Yu Fan: What's the rush?

[The gang turns around to notice Yu Fan, Yu Lan, and an army of Bandersnatch units approaching]

Eris: The twins!

Yu Lan: Hand over the discs. Or do we have to use force?

Qoone: Just try. Ready, team?

[Her teammates nod; all six whip out their Cosmo Pendants]

All six: Cosmo Power!

[They all get suited up, then fight the Bandersnatch and the twins over the next minute, until the twins get equipped with their CR-Units and strike the core five Cosmo Cats with their swords]

Qoone: [charges at the twins with her sword] You stay away from my Cosmo Cats!

[The twins whip out laser pistols and fire them at Qoone, hitting her; Qoone falls to the ground; Yu Lan grabs the discs]

Yu Lan: [puts the discs in her pocket] We did it, Big Sis.

Yu Fan: Bandersnatch, tie them up!

[Later, the Bandersnatch have the Cosmo Cats shackled in a circle on the ground]

Qoone: What are you gonna do with us?

Yu Fan: We don't intend to kill you now. We'll just leave you here so Moltengu can eat you for dinner.

[A loud roar is heard, causing the whole ground to rumble]

Yu Lan: Uh, Sis, we'd better get going!

Yu Fan: Right. Come.

[They head back to their spacecraft]

Manami: Sh*t! We lost the discs, and now we're gonna become a human entrée!

Eris: Here comes Moltengu!

[Moltengu, a giant molten lava version of the Yokai Tengu with a dog-like face and a long nose, marches into the scene]

Kio: That's the monster?!

Antonia: Looks more like a giant lava Pinocchio!

Aoi: Face-wise.

Qoone: Stay strong, team!

[Back on board the Cosmo MagnaShip, Chayka views the attack]

Chayka: Luros, initiate Cosmo MagnaDroid transformation!

Luros: Okey-dokey, Chayka! Initiating now!

[Outside, the MagnaShip releases the CatiEarth One and Eris' ship; all three crafts combine to form the Cosmo MagnaDroid; it flies into the scene and punches Moltengu just before he is about to grab the Cosmo Cats]

Eris: Guys! It's the Cosmo MagnaDroid!

Qoone: Chayka!

[Moltengu growls and fires a wave of lava at the MagnaDroid]

Chayka: Lion Shield!

[The MagnaDroid gets equipped with the Lion Shield and pushes the blast right back at Moltengu, hitting him]

[Cut to the MagnaDroid's cockpit with Chayka]

Chayka: Time to go on the offensive! [inserts a Cosmo Cell] Sabers, online!

[Outside, the MagnaDroid gets equipped with its sabers and strikes Moltengu repeatedly; both giant combatants continue fighting]

Kio: Eris, your Cosmo Brace!

Eris: [groans] What was I thinking?! Cosmo Brace!

[Her Cosmo Brace appears]

Eris: I can't touch the buttons with my fingers, but I can at least try to reach them with my tail!

[Her tail slowly snakes toward her brace; the tail presses 2]

Eris: Cosmo Boost!

[She clenches her fists and breaks free from the shackles, then breaks the others free with karate chops; the gang gets back on their feet]

Eris: Come on, guys! Let's get outta here!

[All six Cosmo Cats jump into the MagnaDroid's cockpit and join Chayka]

Eris: Chayka, are you all right?

Chayka: Never felt better, Eris. You guys okay, too?

Manami: Yes, but we lost the discs. The Xia twins took them. We have to go after them.

Qoone: That really won't be necessary.

Aoi: How can you say that when you saw them take the discs?

Kio: [whips out the discs] You mean these?

[The others (except Qoone) are flabbergasted]

Manami: Kio, how'd you get those discs back when we were all shackled up?

Kio: The truth is, we never lost them in the first place.

[Flashback to earlier when the twins have met up with the Cosmo Cats; Qoone shifts toward Kio right behind the other four; behind their backs, Qoone hands Kio the discs; Kio places them in his pocket, then quickly hands her six blank discs]

Kio: Before we transformed, Captain Qoone handed me the discs right behind our backs.

Qoone: The ones the twins stole were just blank discs that looked exactly like the real ones.

[Back to the present]

Chayka: You never cease to surprise me, Qoone. Come on. Let's get outta here.

[Outside, the MagnaDroid takes to the sky and splits back into the three components; Eris' ship and the CatiEarth One get re-docked back into the MagnaShip as it takes off back into space on its way to Earth; unbeknownst to them, Moltengu flies after them]

[Later, on board the twins' ship, the twins transport the discs to the Fusion Dimension]

Roget: [over intercom] Well done, you two. Your mission is complete. You may return home now.

Yu Fan: Thank you, sir. Over and out.

[The transmission ends]

Yu Fan: Still got the real discs, Yu Lan?

Yu Lan: [whips out the fake discs that they stole] He doesn't suspect a thing, Sis. I put a virus in those discs. He won't know the difference until it's too late.

Yu Fan: [pats her twin on the head] Never once lost your touch. Let's go home.

[Back on board the MagnaShip, the Cosmo Cats transmit the data from the real discs to NASA]

Bridenstine: Thank you, Cosmo Cats. You've saved decades' worth of research. Now, the reason I asked you for this mission is because the discs also contained important data on a mighty weapon developed not too long ago on the planet Catia. They call it the Omega MagnaShip. At this moment, it's completely unprotected and hovering over Earth. I'm transmitting the data to you right now.

[Kio inserts a blank disc into the control panel]

Bridenstine: We can't risk an overload if you used those discs. So making a separate disc is the best way to go.

[After the data transmission is complete, Kio removes the disc from the control panel]

Qoone: We're making our approach toward Earth, sir.

Bridenstine: Good luck.

[The transmission ends]

Eris: Why wasn't anybody informed of this?

Chayka: They must've figured that if we found out, the Demonoids would go after it.

[The alarm blares]

Luros: Emergency, Cosmo Cats! Moltengu is coming after us!

Manami: I knew we should've killed him when we had the chance!

Qoone: You guys hold him off. The Omega MagnaShip is my responsibility.

Eris: On your own?!

Kio: Maybe one of us should go with you. [hands Qoone the disc]

Qoone: If I need any help, I'll call you. All right?

Eris: Right. But how are you gonna get there?

Antonia: We're gonna need the Cosmo MagnaDroid to keep Moltengu occupied.

Qoone: I know. Chayka?

[Chayka leads the Cosmo Cats to a separate docking bay and shows them a violet hover-bike (which closely resemble one seen in Overwatch) resembling a cougar]

Chayka: Behold, the Cougar Cycle, programmed by yours truly. Unlike most of the other teams' vehicles, this one can only move by flight.

Eris: It's incredible!

Qoone: Chayka, you've done it again.

[She jumps onto her Cougar Cycle]

Qoone: Open docking bay!

[The docking bay door slides open]

Eris: Good luck, Captain.

Qoone: Cougar Cycle, launch!

[Her cycle launches into space; the docking bay door closes]

Eris: Come on, guys. We gotta take out Moltengu before he attacks Earth.

Other Cosmo Cats: Right!

[Outside, the MagnaShip releases the other two ships and combines with them to form the MagnaDroid; it flies toward Moltengu and fights him; all the while, Qoone glides on her Cougar Cycle until she happens upon a massive mechanical space dock]

Qoone: That must be the Omega MagnaShip.

[She hovers even closer]

[Inside the ship, Qoone enters the engine room]

Qoone: [looks around] Look at all this.

[Her bell chimes]

Melwin: [through bell] Captain, this is Melwin. Do you copy?

Qoone: [taps her bell] Loud and clear. I'm in the Omega MagnaShip's engine room. I have the disc with the data needed to control it.

[Cut to the Catian Mothership; Melwin views a map of the Omega MagnaShip's structure]

Melwin: Good. I just received a message from Catia. It includes a map of the ship. You're right below the control room.

[Cut back to the Omega MagnaShip]

Qoone: Doesn't look that way to me. I'm practically at a dead end.

[She looks around again, until she finds a passageway]

Qoone: Wait! I see a passageway!

[She rushes toward the passageway, climbs up the stairs, and approaches the door to the control room]

Qoone: Bingo.

[She opens the door]

Qoone: Okay. I'm at the control room. What now?

Melwin: There's a security disc reader.

Qoone: I don't see it.

[She looks around, until she finds the middle control panel; she pushes a flashing violet button, and a compartment opens, revealing two disc readers side by side]

Melwin: [as the signal starts to weaken] What you have to do is insert the disc into the primary slot.

Qoone: But which one? There are two slots.

Melwin: It's the one on the--

[Her signal suddenly gets cut off]

Qoone: Melwin? Melwin!

[Back at the fight between the Cosmo MagnaDroid and Moltengu, Moltengu becomes surrounded by a flaming aura as he rams the MagnaDroid, causing them both to fall toward Earth like a meteor; the MagnaDroid struggles to break free]

Aoi: Jaguar Missiles, fire!

[The MagnaDroid fires Jaguar Missiles at Moltengu, who spews fire at them, melting them; the two giants suddenly rotate 180 degrees; the MagnaDroid kicks Moltengu, forcing him to set it free]

Antonia: Leopard Laser, fire!

[Outside, the MagnaDroid fires its Leopard Laser at Moltengu, hitting him; Moltengu falls toward New York City and hits the ground; suddenly, Moltengu gets back on his feet and splits into two Moltengus]

Eris: What?! There are two of them?!

Manami: How the hell's he do that?!

Aoi: I don't know, but at this rate, we sure could use some help.

Antonia: [inserts a Cosmo Cell] Cosmo Claws!

[Outside, the MagnaDroid gets equipped with its Cosmo Claws and fights the two Moltengu, but they are too much for it; they wallop it soundly]

Kio: We're losing power fast! Hold on, girls!

Eris: Captain Qoone, please hurry!

[Back at the Omega MagnaShip, Qoone tries to reach make contact with the mothership again, but to no avail]

Qoone: Melwin! Anybody! I need to know which slot! [sighs] Well, here goes nothing.

[She inserts the disc into the left slot of the control panel; the alarm goes off]

Qoone: Oh, now I've done it!

Computer: Sequence initiating. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6,...

Qoone: How do I stop this thing?!

Computer: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,... Scanning sequence complete. Omega MagnaShip ready for command.

Qoone: I actually chose the right slot. All right. Omega MagnaShip, set a course for New York City!

[Outside, the Omega MagnaShip (a large spaceship) is released from its dock and rockets toward Earth]

Qoone: [taps her bell] Cosmo Cats, do you read me?

Eris: Captain, we're getting killed here!

Kio: Moltengu split into two, and he's too much for us now!

Qoone: Hang on! I'm on my way!

[Back on Earth, the two Moltengus have the Cosmo MagnaDroid cornered and are about to strike, when suddenly, the Omega MagnaShip fires lasers at them, hitting them; the Cosmo MagnaDroid gets back on its feet]

[Cut to the main cockpit with Qoone on board]

Qoone: All right, Moltengu! If you wanna destroy my Cosmo Cats, you're gonna have to go through me first! Omega MagnaShip, initiate MagnaDroid transformation!

[Outside, the MagnaShip takes on a whole new mecha shape:
Its engines become the legs
Its arms have gatling blasters on the right hand and a cannon on the left
It has the head of a cougar]

[Cut to the Cosmo MagnaDroid's cockpit]

Kio: What on Earth is that thing?!

Eris: Even I don't know.

Qoone: [over radio] It's my own personal mecha: The Omega MagnaDroid.

Eris: Captain Qoone!

[Cut to the Omega MagnaDroid's cockpit]

Qoone: Just watch what it can do. Omega Gatling Blasters, fire!

[Outside, the Omega MagnaDroid fires its gatling blasters at the two Moltengus, hitting them]

Qoone: Omega Phaser Cannon, fire!

[The Omega MagnaDroid fires a phaser from its cannon at the Moltengus, hitting them; the Omega MagnaDroid helps the Cosmo MagnaDroid back to its feet]

Qoone: Now it's two against two!

[The two MagnaDroids charge at and punch the two Moltengus]

Eris: Let's finish this battle! Cosmic Roar!

Qoone: Omega Double Blast!

All six Cosmo Cats: FIRE!

[Both MagnaDroids fire upon the Moltengus, hitting them both; both Moltengus fall to the ground, and an explosion is shown]

Qoone: Cosmo Cats, mission complete! MEOW!

[Meanwhile, at the Fusion Dimension, Roget inserts the discs the twins sent him into a control panel]

Roget: Once I've downloaded Catia's data, those Cosmo Cats will be at my mercy. Those twins really outdid themselves.

[Suddenly, the monitor on the panel reveals a skull and crossbones and text: "YOU'VE BEEN PWNED!"]

Roget: What?! NO!

[The control panel starts to fry; Roget growls and tries to make contact with the twins]

Roget: Yu Fan! Yu Lan! Do you copy? Hello? Hello?! [growls and smashes the console] Those damn Cosmo Cats! No one hornswoggles Jean-Michel Roget and lives!

[Back at the Xia twins' apartment, Yu Fan inserts one of the discs into her laptop, but suddenly finds that the disc is blank; she shuts her laptop]

Yu Fan: They tricked us.

Yu Lan: [enters with a pizza] Any luck with the data, Sis?

Yu Fan: There is no data. All the discs we swiped were blank. The Cosmo Cats tricked us.

Yu Lan: Damn it. [sits down beside her twin] We should've just left that satellite the moment we shot it down and told Roget we destroyed it. It's not like he'd ever know the truth.

Yu Fan: [opens the pizza box and takes a slice] I agree. But if there's one good thing that came out of this mission, we succeeded in giving Roget the punishment he so rightfully deserves. [holds out the slice to her twin] Say ahh.

Yu Lan: [opens wide] Ahh... [takes a bite]

[132 Madison Street, 5:44pm]

[The Cosmo Cats (back to normal) and the mothership crew are gathered for dinner]

Eris: I think our new Omega MagnaDroid is totally awesome.

Kio: I'm glad you have your own mecha, Captain.

Qoone: Thanks. But I'm even more glad we saved NASA's research.

Aoi: I'm just glad we don't have to deal with Sharivan 8's heat anymore.

Manami: Ditto. I almost got a sunburn.

Antonia: And Moltengu-- Boy, was he creepy. We fought bogus monsters before, but he was one of the worst.

[They all continue chattering over dinner]


[Clips from the next side-fic are shown]

Eris: I see Kio's got the spotlight for the next show.

Antonia: But it looks as though next episode's another crime investigation.

Manami: Too bad we're not gonna see the Omega MagnaDroid next episode.

Kio: Next time: The Wrong Guy. Vigilance, dedication, courage!

Last edited by TVLubber (1/21/2023 9:54 pm)